


Of Toerags and Shortcakes

by jupitermornings (yoonglemoons)



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Bromance, Canon Compliant, Enemies to Friends to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Gen, Hogwarts Seventh Year, Hogwarts Sixth Year, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-04-04
Updated: 2020-04-22
Packaged: 2021-02-28 18:32:42
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 25,933
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23481706
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/yoonglemoons/pseuds/jupitermornings
Summary: After five and a half years of pursuing her, James Potter finally makes the decision to give up on his crush on Lily Evans, and eventually gets a girlfriend. But when muggleborns at Hogwarts are mysteriously getting terrorized and the two team up to find the culprit, what happens when Lily finds herself falling for James? Just a little?
Relationships: James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, Marauders & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black & Lily Evans Potter, Sirius Black/Original Character(s)
Comments: 8
Kudos: 22





	1. Fistfights and Furnunculus

**Author's Note:**

> Hi! This is my first jily fanfic and fanfic in general... but everyone has to start somewhere, right? It's multichapter and covers half of the sixth year (starts in around april) and their seventh year. Characters/world belong to J.K. Rowling. Thanks for reading!

In an ideal scenario, a relationship would begin with a meet cute and go from there.

In the case of Lily Evans and James Potter, their first meet was less than cute. And so was their second. And their third. And on and on and on it went.

It wasn’t the most surprising to others. Lily was decisively opinionated, an idealist, a dreamer. She was sympathetic and sweet and responsible, and he was entitled and arrogant and reckless. James liked Lily, but Lily hated James. It was a relationship never to be had, and even James gave up some time in their sixth year.

And while something clearly changed, this story begins with another one of their less-than-cute meets. Or rather, two.

* * *

“Lily!”

Lily looked up from where she was reading in one of the common room armchairs. A third year- Lily thought her name might be Elizabeth or something of the kind- was running in from the portrait hole. The girl’s cheeks were flushed and she clutched a stitch on the side of her stomach.

“They sent me,” the third year explained, “to tell you two students were fighting in the corridor.”

“Bloody hell,” Lily muttered and got up, leaving her book in the chair. “Thank you, er…”

“Elisabet,” the girl offered.

“Elisabet,” Lily repeated. _Pretty close_. “Lead the way.”

The third year led her just past the portrait hole. It was pretty obvious where the brawl was, as a large congregation of students gathered at the end of the corridor. Lily pushed through the crowd until she was at the front.

Lily sighed. Who did she expect when she heard two students were fighting? Of course James Potter would be involved, and of course Sirius Black was there, egging him on. The other student was a Slytherin by the looks of his robes, and was perilously close to reaching for his wand.

“All right, break it up,” Lily yelled over the commotion. “Back to the common room, everyone.”

No one listened to her. Lily felt someone else push their way to the front. “What’s going on?” Marlene asked.

Lily shrugged. _Who knows?_ “Have you seen Remus anywhere?”

James got a good punch in and the Gryffindors cheered.

Marlene shook her head. “I saw him in the hospital wing an hour ago, though. Maybe he's still there?”

Lily took her wand out. Marlene looked startled. “You’re not joining the fight, are you? Because while I would one hundred percent approve, that seems like the least Lily thing to do.”

“Don’t be ridiculous,” said Lily, and pointed her wand at her own throat. “ _Sonorus_.”

“Fancy,” Marlene observed.

“Listen up!” Her voice, magically amplified, bounced off the walls, and Lily cringed. She hoped she wouldn’t bring any teachers running over. The charm did its job, though, and the students stopped yelling. James and the Slytherin let go of each other, each a bloody mess. “I want everyone back in the common room, now.”

The students reluctantly filed away, muttering under their breaths, until only Lily, Sirius, James, and the Slytherin were left in the corridor. Marlene gave her an encouraging wink before leaving. Lily quickly casted the counter-charm and crossed her arms. “Does someone want to tell me what this is about?”

“Oi, Evans,” James protested. “I was provoked!”

The Slytherin muttered something unintelligible and spat blood out near James’s feet. Lily winced. Someone would have to magick the stain out. Merlin, where was Remus Lupin?

She studied the two students. Both were bruised all over with blood trickling out of their noses and mouths, and James’s nose seemed to be broken. “You’ll have to go to the hospital wing, you know.”

Both parties began objecting profusely, but Lily held a hand up. “Maybe you should have thought about that before you got into a fistfight.”

“I don’t need any filthy mudblood telling me what to do,” the Slytherin spat.

Sirius and James had their wands out in an instance. “Watch your mouth, Nott,” Sirius snarled.

_I don’t need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!_

It had been a year since that encounter, and yet it still felt like yesterday. Sometimes Lily found herself reading a potions book and wanting to mention something to Severus before she remembered they were no longer friends. And she would feel her heart ache until she reminded herself what he had done to make it so they were no longer friends. It made her heart ache no less, but at least it strengthened her resolve.

Lily shook herself. “Nott, is it? Why don’t we take a trip to Slughorn’s office, and you can explain all of this to him? Afterall, I suspect that for once, James is telling the truth and he was provoked. Do you think Professor Slughorn wouldn’t believe me?”

Nott glared at her mutinously.

Lily smiled satisfactorily. “I thought so. Why don’t you go back to your common room?”

Nott shuffled away sulkily. Sirius whistled, clearly impressed. Lily turned toward James and Sirius. “I don’t want to know what that was about,” she said before James could say anything, “or why that Slytherin was by the Gryffindor portrait hole.”

James wiped a trickle of blood coming from his nose. “Ignorance,” he commented. “Classy move, Evans.”

“You don’t get the right to judge me, Potter,” Lily snapped. “In case you haven’t noticed, _you’re_ the one who just got into a fistfight. Grow _up_. And if you won’t go see Madam Pomfrey, at least let someone else fix you up. Your nose is broken.”

And with that, she stalked away and uttered the password to the Fat Lady, climbing into the common room as soon as the portrait swung open.

James frowned at the space where Lily had been. “What did I say this time?”

Sirius clapped a hand on James’s shoulder. “I don’t know if you’ve realized this by now, mate,” he said, “but she hates the mere existence of you.”

“Are you saying I should jump off the Astronomy Tower?”

Sirius looked alarmed. “Did I say that? I didn’t mean that. Look, Prongs, maybe you should just give up. I don’t think Evans is going to be falling in love with you anytime soon.”

This only made James frown deeper as he took out his wand. “ _Episkey_.” He felt his nose grow warm as it mended. James accepted the handkerchief Sirius had conjured and wiped the blood from his face.

* * *

Lily stomped into her dormitory and threw her book onto her bed, upsetting Isolt, who had been dozing peacefully. The cat blinked at her reproachfully before settling down again and closing her eyes.

The dorm was, as usual, overflowing with six girls, and all five girls looked up from whatever they were doing to look at Lily curiously.

“What happened?” Mary MacDonald asked.

Raffaela scrutinized Lily carefully. “Potter encounter,” she guessed.

“All the signs are there,” Lola agreed.

“I can’t _deal_ with him!” Lily cried. “He’s insufferable! Going around, getting into fistfights like we’re still in primary school-”

“I was never in primary school,” Raffaela pointed out.

“Quiet, Fawley,” said Lola. “She’s clearly in a rant.”

“And then he calls me _ignorant_!” Lily continued. “Seriously, who does he think he is? He needs a good dose of maturity, who even acts like that anymore?”

“Lily,” said Marlene soothingly, “I think you’re overreacting.”

“I’m not!”

Mila Tehrani had been reading the January issue of the Witch Weekly on her back. She rolled over onto her stomach. “He doesn’t seem that bad,” she remarked curiously. “A pretty decent bloke, actually.”

“He’s a _prick_!”

Lola, who could already see how futile it was arguing with her, only shoved a glass of water in Lily’s hands. “Have some water.”

* * *

Back in the Slytherin common room, Nott sulked in an armchair while Avery glared at him.

“You got into a _brawl_?” said Mulciber disbelievingly. “What are you, a mudblood?” Rabastan Lestrange snorted disgustedly.

“I hexed him first!” the fifth year whined. “And then he punched me!”

“We shouldn’t have expected anymore from a blood traitor like Potter,” Avery muttered. He trained his beady eyes on Nott, who slumped further into his armchair. “You, however, we expected more from. A hex? What’d you do, sting him?”

Snape felt his hatred rise at the mention of James Potter. Arrogant and obnoxious. He did nothing to deserve the world, and yet he had it. He had it, and he did nothing with it. He had it, and he didn’t realize how lucky he was.

“I would’ve at least casted the Imperius,” Snape heard himself say. Regulus Black nodded earnestly.

Rabastan whistled. “Now we’re talking.”

Nott sat up a little straighter. “Like you could do it, Snape. You’ve hung out with that mudblood for years, I bet it’s rubbed off on you. You’re no better than those other blood traitors.”

“Snape has done nothing but prove he is loyal to our cause,” Mulciber growled. “Soon we’ll be out of Hogwarts and we can serve the Dark Lord. But if all you can do is make someone’s legs dance, maybe you should just take a Ministry job.”

But Avery only looked thoughtful. It was not an expression that Snape liked. “Nott has a point.”

Regulus looked confused. “Avery?”

“If Snape were truly loyal to our cause, he should have no trouble proving it, should he? Not an Unforgivable, at least not yet,” Avery added. “We don’t need you expelled.”

“If we were expelled we’d be serving the Dark Lord sooner,” Mulciber muttered.

“If,” Avery said over him, “you were expelled, you’d be thrown into Azkaban.”

“You want me to hex someone?” Snape asked incredulously.

Avery grinned. “Not just someone. A mudblood. And I have just the person in mind.”

* * *

Word of the fistfight between James and Nott spread like wildfire throughout Hogwarts, and yet not a single teacher heard the whispers-- or maybe they had just chosen purposefully to ignore them. Either way, McGonagall didn’t mention anything to James the next two days.

Remus was getting worse as the full moon neared, his face pale and drawn except for a feverish flush on his cheeks. James watched him moodily stab his toast without eating anything from across the table.

“Moony, mate,” said Sirius. “At this rate you’ll be eating dust instead of toast.”

Peter piled a few of Remus’s favorite scones and sausages onto his plate. James offered a slab of chocolate, which Remus took thankfully.

“Anything happen while I was out?” Remus asked conversationally.

“Prongs got into a fistfight with Nott,” Sirius informed him cheerfully.

Remus raised his eyebrows. “I’ve heard. You two didn’t think to use wands?”

“He hexed me first,” said James, “so I punched him in the face.”

“Spare him the maturity speech,” Sirius implored. “Evans already gave him the whole deal.”

“He came back looking like a kicked puppy,” Peter agreed.

James reached across the Gryffindor table to shove Peter’s shoulder. “I did _not_.”

But Sirius had lost interest in their conversation. His dark, glittering eyes were focused on someone else at the entrance of the Great Hall instead. James turned around.

“Snivellus has been getting off rather easily lately,” Sirius remarked viciously.

“Padfoot-” Remus began tiredly, but James was already grinning.

“What d’you have in mind, Padfoot?”

* * *

As luck would have it, Snape exited the library when James and Sirius happened to be rounding the corner of the corridor. James quickly pulled Sirius back around the corner.

“I reckon we should start with the Bat-Bogey Hex,” Sirius whispered.

“A simple Jelly-Legs Jinx would disable him faster,” James disagreed.

“Prongs, are you getting soft in your old age? Where’s the fun in that?”

James peered around the corner and frantically patted Sirius’s arm. “Quick, here he comes.”

Snape began walking in their direction, his nose buried in a book. “I feel bad for that book,” Sirius whispered. “There’ll be grease all over it.”

“Shhhh.” James looked past the corner again, and frowned. Snape was nowhere to be seen. “Wait, where’d he go?”

“You mean me?” a familiar voice said behind them, and James turned around to see Snape seething behind them.

“Padfoot, this isn’t going so well.”

“ _Sectumsempra_!” Snape snarled, slashing his wand at James, who narrowly missed the curse only by experience of dodging it.

“This again?” James taunted. “Haven’t you got any other spells to use, Snivellus?”

James pointed his wand and there was a flash of orange light- Snape’s legs collapsed from underneath him and he fell with a thump, but then he began clutching his nose, and James frowned. The Jelly-Legs Jinx didn’t hurt one’s nose.

And then full-sized bats began flying out of Snape’s nose surrounding the Slytherin on the cobbled floor and the two Gryffindors.

James turned to Sirius. “I thought we agreed on the Bat-Bogey,” the latter said.

“I thought we agreed on jelly legs!”

“I said nothing of the sort,” Sirius objected.

They stared at each other sadly.

“What’s happened to us?” James wondered. “We used to be so in sync.”

Sirius looked horrified. “Is this what it’s like to grow up?”

“To hell with growing up, I-”

“Prongs, watch out!”

Blue light filled James’s vision as he felt himself being thrown back into the wall. He landed with a sickening crack and a sharp pain throbbed in his head. James sat up gingerly, wincing, to see Snape point his wand at James’s face, his expression contorted. “ _Furnun_ -”

James quickly disarmed Snape. They had an audience now, a few curious Ravenclaws and two Slytherins in their year- Mulciber and Lestrange. “Trying to ruin my good looks with boils, are you? I always knew you were jealous.” He had Snape hanging upside down by his ankles a second later, the Slytherin’s robes waving wildly in the air. “What should I do to you? Maybe some boils of your own? Or would you rather have bats fly out of your nose again? Maybe we'd all like another look at those dumpy underpants you own-”

“What’s going on?” another voice demanded, light and melodious and one that James knew so well.

James turned to see Lily Evans there once again with Mary MacDonald beside her, her perfect lips parted in surprise as she surveyed the scene, her dark red hair up in a messy bun.

_Just my luck._

* * *

After dinner, Lily accompanied Mary to the library to get a few books for History of Magic research, as Mila was nowhere to be found. None of the other Gryffindor girls understood why Mary deigned to continue the subject which was taught most soullessly by a ghost, Professor Binns. Mary, however, seemed to have a penchant for remembering the dates and historical events, and took the course along with her other classes that would put her on the track of being a Healer.

Even Lily, while an exceptionally good student, couldn’t help but fall asleep during Professor Binn’s lectures. She often likened the ghost’s voice to an odd lullaby-- it was grating and not comforting at all, and yet it easily put students to sleep.

“What are you researching?” Lily asked as they left the Great Hall.

“Oh, just about famous activists against the International Statute of Wizarding Secrecy.”

“Like Carlotta Pinkstone?” said Lily, recalling the name from many articles in the Daily Prophet.

“She’s a big one,” Mary confirmed. “Honestly, maybe people would receive her a little better if she wore less blush, they’re like red splotches on her cheeks-”

Mary stopped talking as they neared the library. There was a small crowd surrounding two students clearly dueling. Lily sighed and walked a little faster. “What’s going on?” she asked, pushing once again to the front of the crowd of ten or so students.

James Potter looked over, his wand levitating Snape in the air. Sirius stirred in the corner, his hand going to the cut on his forehead “Evans,” he greeted, quickly schooling his surprised expression. His hand, as always, went automatically to his hair, presumably to mess it up.

“Again, Potter?” Lily said in response, observing the scene. “Except with wands this time, isn’t it?”

To Lily’s surprise, James immediately let Snape go and performed some kind of counter-jinx. Snape flinched and got up on wobbly legs.

“I told you to leave him alone,” said Lily coldly.

“Ah,” said James pleasantly. “Believe it or not, Evans, I was once again provoked.”

“Why don’t I believe you this time?”

“I don’t know,” James replied seriously. “That’s certainly a good question to ask.”

“Prongs!” Sirius shouted from the ground.

James whirled around, eyes widening, as Severus waved his wand once more. Lily impulsively ran forward and deflected the spell with a shield charm, then locked his legs together with a wave of her wand for good measure.

Severus sneered at her, eyes flashing, as he struggled with his legs bound together. “Come to join the fight? _Sectumsempra_!”

Lily’s eyes widened as she saw a flash of light and tried to dodge Severus’s curse. She felt a blinding pain on her upper arm as she stumbled. Someone caught her with strong arms. Something warm trickled down her arms

“Evans,” the person said. James. “Evans, you all right?”

Lily’s vision cleared and she pushed away from James, gaping at Severus, who looked just as shocked. He had never tried to _hurt_ her before. She barely registered the stinging as the cut on her upper arm throbbed.

“Hold still, Lily,” said Mary grimly, pointing her wand at the deep gash. “ _Vulnera Sanentur_.” Lily watched the blood soak back into the cut as it mended itself and opened her mouth to thank Mary.

“What’s going on here?” Professor McGonagall asked crisply, her sharp eyes catching on Snape, whose legs were still bound, James, who was still pointing his wand at Snape, Sirius, who was still on the floor, and Lily, who was still in the center circle with the others. “Dueling, are we? I expected better of you, Miss Evans.”

McGonagall waited, but Lily didn’t deny it. She did, after all, cast the Leg-Locker Curse for no other reason than to prove to Snape that she could get the better of him.

McGonagall shook her head in disappointment. “A week’s worth of detentions for the lot of you. Twenty-five points off of Gryffindor and fifteen points off of Slytherin.”

“Why does Snape get less off?” James demanded.

McGonagall gave him a wry look. “Because there’s three of you and one of him. I’d say I’m being generous, Potter. Off you go!” she barked at the other students, and left after a searing look to each of the offenders.

“Evans-”

Lily pointed her wand at James, who backed off. “Didn’t I tell you to _leave him alone_?”

“It was self defense!” James protested.

“You _reveled_ in it, and you know it. Why can’t you ever just leave things alone, for once? Do you always have to be such a bully?”

And for the first time in his life, James was left speechless, because he knew she spoke nothing but the truth. And it was only because of that that no one noticed the nod Mulcibur gave Snape as the three Slytherins walked away.


	2. The Week of Detentions (And Other Punishments)

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi all! If you read my first chapter early on- first of all, thanks so much for reading! Second of all, there was one small change- in the first draft of the chapter, it seemed like Remus had already gone through his monthly werewolf transformation, but I changed it so that it actually happens in this chapter. Also, this chapter is a good amount longer than the first... I'm still trying to find the best length, but all these events seem to relate to each other so I think it all worked out in the end!

Raffaela shook her head. “I can’t believe you got detention. For a whole _week_.”

“All I did was a Leg-Locker Curse!” Lily objected. On Snape. And then Snape attacked her. Used _sectumsempra_ on _her._ She thought she would be more hurt and shocked more than anything else, and she was, but she was mostly sad and angry. How did they go from being best friends to being on opposite sides of an unfriendly duel?

“I would’ve gone with the full body-bind,” said Lola. “The greasy git.”

Lily pushed her thoughts away and waved as Marlene ran toward the Gryffindor table. Marlene shoved Lola over and sat down. “Mila has a new boyfriend,” she announced.

“Shocking,” Lola remarked sardonically, scanning the front page of her copy of the Daily Prophet before turning the page.

“Roger Killick,” Marlene informed them, even though no one asked.

“Oi, that whiny Ravenclaw?” Lola said.

“ _Lola_ ,” Lily scolded, but secretly agreed.

“Didn’t you date Roger Killick last year?” Raffaela asked distantly, braiding her blonde hair back.

“We kissed _once_ ,” Lily corrected. “I hardly _dated_ him.”

“Probably for the best,” said Lola. “He’s real whiny.”

“I heard he likes shrimp,” said Raffaela. “Mila really shouldn’t be dating him.”

“Shrimp is okay,” Lily allowed.

“I like shrimp,” Marlene protested.

“That’s disgusting,” Georgie Goldstein put in as she and other Hufflepuffs approached them.

“Right?” said Raffaela.

“It’s really only the smell,” Hestia Jones argued as they passed. “If you get past that, shrimp is good. Have you ever tried a shrimp cocktail?”

Mila and Mary slid onto the bench next to Marlene. “What’s in there?” Mary asked, nodding toward the Daily Prophet in Lola’s hands.

“Nothing substantial,” said Lola disgustedly. “Just harping on and on about how great of a job the Ministry is doing when it's really doing nothing. There’s a short article on the mysterious death of three muggles, though. And a pureblood who married a muggle was recently attacked and put in St. Mungo’s.”

“The Daily Prophet shouldn’t even be considered a newspaper anymore,” Lily agreed. “The Ministry practically controls it all. It’s just propaganda.”

“There’s also a sweater sale,” Lola offered. “Looks like Madame Malkin is branching out.”

Raffaela leaned over to see the ad and squawked. “Bloody hell! Someone needs to go burn Madame Malkin’s sweater collection right this instant.”

“Crimes against fashion,” Marlene declared.

“More like crimes against my _eyes_.”

“Lily!” Dorcas Meadowes squeezed in next to Lily. “Heard you got detention.”

Lily threw her arms up. “Did _everyone_ hear about that?”

“Our pretty, popular, _responsible_ prefect dueling? Of course everyone heard about that. Good for you. What’d you cast on our Slytherin friend?”

“Leg-Locker.”

“Ah,” said Dorcas, looking a little disappointed. “I would’ve gone with the full-body bind.”

“That’s what I said,” Lola chimed in, spitting out small cornflakes. Marlene winced beside her. “I would’ve jinxed him and left him there to rot.”

“That’s because you’re Lola,” Marlene said. “You have no morals. Lily has lots of morals.”

Lola looked pleased to be labeled that way.

Dorcas clapped Lily on the shoulder. “Well, keep up the good work, Evans. Don’t let detention get you done.”

Lily snorted. “All of you are terrible influences.”

“I haven’t said anything,” Mila protested.

“You can be a bad influence by association,” Dorcas said cheerfully before getting up to sit with her other seventh year friends a little ways down the table.

“Lily Evans?” a nervous second year boy shifted his weight back and forth between his legs. “Professor McGonagall told me to give this to you.” He handed her a small roll of parchment, his face slowly turning red. Lily thanked the poor boy and unrolled the scroll as the Gryffindor dashed off.

“Someone has a crush on you,” Marlene sang.

“Poor boy,” said Mary. “How will you let him down?”

Lily snatched Lola’s Prophet copy to whack Marlene and Mary on the shoulder before returning it. She looked down at the parchment. It detailed her detention for the night in McGonagall’s loopy handwriting. _Greenhouse Four, 5 pm tonight. Detention overseen by Professor Sprout._ Raffaela looked over her shoulder. “Isn’t that where Sprout keeps the Venomous Tentacula?”

Marlene frowned. “I thought that was Greenhouse Three.”

“I can confirm,” said Mary, “that they are in both.”

Raffaela put her hands on Lily’s shoulder and turned Lily toward her. “Lily,” she said tearfully, “It was really nice knowing you. And we shall miss you greatly. I will only speak good words at your funeral.”

Lily gently threw Raffaela’s hands back at her. “Prat. You think I can’t handle the Venomous Tentacula?”

“Let us not forget the incident of 1974,” Lola reminded them as Lily drank her pumpkin juice.

Lily coughed out her juice. “You know, I- don’t quite recall that certain event.”

Marlene grinned. “Let me remind you. It was our third year. We were in Greenhouse Two, defanging some kind of vampiric plant- nasty teeth, absolutely disgusting- when our dear Lily Evans wasn’t paying attention and backed too far to where the Venomous Tentacula was. It grabbed hold of her hair-” here Marlene made a fist to illustrate the action. “- and yanked, and of course, James Potter had to come to the rescue. He tried the Revulsion Jinx first, which didn’t work for some reason-”

“That boy had no aim,” said Raffaela, shaking her head.

“- so he, being an extremely smart thirteen-year-old, decided that instead of letting Professor Sprout help, he would use the Severing Charm.”

“Cut off a whole chunk of your hair,” said Mary reminiscently. “Good reason to reject him three years straight since.”

Lily shuddered involuntarily. It was one of the memories she kept firmly in the back of her head and tried not to think about. “Let’s not talk about this anymore.”

“You cried like a baby,” Lola recalled, “because Mila had to cut your hair to your shoulders and you didn’t like it.”

“ _Silencio_ , Haywood,” Lily threatened without actually taking her wand out.

“She also screeched like a banshee,” said Marlene, laughing. “Poor James.”

“Good times,” said Raffaela nostalgically.

“Okay, okay, I remember now,” Lily relented. “You can stop attacking me.”

But Marlene only frowned. “What happened to the chunk of Lily’s hair again?”

“I think the Venomous Tentacula kept it,” said Raffaela.

“Sentimental,” remarked Lola.

* * *

Lily arrived at Greenhouse Four a few minutes before detention began- Professor Hallewell had released them from Arithmancy a few minutes early. She had never been in an uncrowded greenhouse before. The only reason she was ever in one was for Herbology lessons, but with no students in the greenhouse, it was surprisingly peaceful. The house was pleasantly warm and smelled of pollen and rainwater, and faintly of dung fertilizer. There was no sound but the steady drip of water, and the plants along the windows fluttered as if to say hello.

Lily shut the door and walked along the line of plants, peering around the greenhouse. Professor Sprout didn’t seem to be around yet, so Lily approached the Venomous Tentacula plant at the front with trepidation. The vines of the plant twisted menacingly as she neared.

“Hello, Tentacula,” said Lily cautiously. “Long time no see.”

The Venomous Tentacula lashed out with its vines, and Lily jumped back. “Okay, I see. Not wanting to be friends. How about acquaintances?”

The plant continued to lash out.

“Respectful strangers?”

“Are you talking to a plant, Evans?” James said behind her, and Lily jumped.

“No,” Lily lied, glaring at him.

“Sprout’s not bad for detention,” said James conversationally.

“Speak for yourself,” said Lily. “This is only my third detention and I’ve never had a whole week’s worth.”

“I didn’t ask you to step in,” James retorted.

_I don’t need help from filthy little mudbloods like her!_

Lily’s eyebrows jumped up. “So you would rather I just let Snape slash your face open?” Lily snapped. “Nice going, Potter. Next time I’ll just leave you to die.”

“At least you wouldn’t be in detention,” James snapped back.

Lily seethed, but stopped herself from responding. It wouldn’t get her anywhere, and there was no use arguing with James Potter. He would never listen, anyway. They stared in opposite directions instead, James at the glass-paned ceiling and Lily at the shelves underneath the tables.

Lily could have hugged Professor Sprout when she finally appeared. “Mister Potter, Miss Evans,” she greeted a little breathlessly. “I apologize for my lateness. My Mandrakes have reached their teenage stage.”

Both Lily and James shuddered at the memory of their second year when they had to deal with Mandrakes. Lily certainly did not envy Sprout, although she dealt with the crying plants with a lot more finesse than they did as twelve-year-olds.

Sprout took off her gloves- regular muggle gardening gloves, not ones of dragon hide- and walked past the two Gryffindors. “There are bags of dragon dung right outside the greenhouse. I need all the plants in this greenhouse and the next fertilized. I’ll be in Greenhouse Three if you need me. Oh, and I’ve been instructed to tell you not to use magic. It’s good that Minerva let you come at this time,” Sprout commented. “Dragon dung, in my opinion, has less of an odor at dusk.”

* * *

Professor Sprout may have thought so, but Lily disagreed. The smell of just the pile of dragon dung bags was so potent that Lily gagged from a few yards away and turned her head away.

“That’s nauseating,” muttered James, their previous argument forgotten.

Lily covered her nose with her hand in agreement.

“Well,” said Lily, “we should get started, shouldn’t we?”

It was easier said than done. James seemed to have little problem carrying the bags after years of Quidditch strength training, but Lily had to drag the bags back into the greenhouse rather than carry them. She huffed, blowing loose strands of hair out of her face, and straightened for a second of rest before dragging the bag to a row of plants. James wordlessly handed her a shovel and they layered the soil in silence.

“You’re right,” said James abruptly, scaring Lily enough that she dropped her shovel. “I’m sorry.”

Lily picked her shovel up and peered at James. “Did James Potter just apologize and admit he was _wrong_?”

James cracked a crooked smile. “Don’t get used to it.”

“I’m sorry, I don’t think I heard you the first time, could you repeat it?”

“If you hadn’t stepped in, I could’ve been humiliated, or worse-”

Here Lily snorted.

“- or worse,” James continued over her laughter, “Snape could’ve actually hurt me. So yes, I’m thankful, no matter what my ungrateful arse says. And I was telling the truth when I said Padfoot and I were provoked, but we did try to hex him first, so it was really only on the account that we were the more stupid people rather than the better people.”

Lily was a little stunned. She had not expected James Potter to apologize for anything.

“And for what it’s worth, I’m sorry Snape cursed you,” he added.

Lily gripped the table a little unsteadily in her mounting shock. “It wasn’t your fault. Besides,” said Lily pointedly, “you hate Sev- Snape.”

“You didn’t,” said James matter-of-factly, going back to work. “I mean, maybe you did, since he called you a- a you-know-what, but you didn’t think he would hurt you more.”

“Yeah, well. Really shows how little we know about people, right?”

They worked in silence for a few minutes.

“Why didn’t you pull your wand on Nott?” Lily asked curiously.

“A real wizard may use his wand,” James proclaimed, “but a real _man_ uses his fists.”

“I think it’s ‘a real man uses his words.’”

“And words I used. I said, ‘Nott, you prick,’ before I punched him in the face.”

“Ah,” said Lily.

“It makes me look worse out of context. In my defense, he did hex me before I punched him.”

“Which obviously makes it okay,” Lily deadpanned.

James met her gaze and winced. “Ouch, Evans, you really know how to make people feel guilty.”

“I’m sorry, too,” Lily admitted. “I… may have been just a _little_ harsh. But I mean, you kind of deserved it.”

“I’m an idiot,” James allowed. “But certainly a loveable one.”

Lily made a face.

“I saw that,” James called over his shoulder as he left to get another bag of dragon dung, and Lily grinned to herself.

* * *

As soon as James stepped into his dormitory, the other Marauders shouted and ran to the far side of the room. “What is that _smell_?” Sirius asked in a nasally tone, his nose plugged.

“Dragon dung,” James responded, and Sirius, Remus, and Peter wrinkled their noses.

“I think I’m gonna faint,” said Sirius dramatically, fanning his face. James threw a pillow at him.

“What did you even do for detention?” James demanded.

“Polished suits of armor with Snivellus and Filch,” said Sirius. “Which you would’ve _known_ had you used the mirror like we discussed. Not the best luck in terms of detention, but at least I smell okay. I reckon either you or Evans will have to finish the rest.”

“I may smell like dragon dung,” said James, “but at least I had detention with Evans.”

Remus raised his eyebrows. “You did? What’d you do this time, insult her mum?” He seemed to be in no mood for James’s antics. _Headache_ , Sirius mouthed.

“You know, Moony, I may not have a lot of tact or luck when it comes to Evans, but even I wouldn’t go that far. And anyway, I think I’ve made progress. She has to hate me a little less now, right?” In fact, she seemed to actually like him. She smiled, at any rate, and even accepted his apology.

“Prongs,” said Sirius, “there’s a time and place to give up, and the time is now and the place is here. It’s been… what, five years? C’mon, you know she’ll never like you.”

Remus frowned. “Maybe it’s because he’s always too busy being a prat to think about exactly _why_ Lily doesn’t like him.”

“Too attractive?” James suggested. “Too charming?”

“Too _arrogant_.”

“I don’t think James is too arrogant,” Peter disagreed loyally.

“See? Thanks, Pete.”

Sirius turned his head away, fending James off with his arms. “Go shower. I can’t talk to you like this, my eyes are watering.”

But James was scheming. “I think it’s time to try again.”

“Try what?” Peter asked, confused.

Remus had caught on. “Oh, no. No. James, don’t do it.”

“Progress, Moony, progress!”

Remus kicked his bed. “Not that much! She’ll hate you for it!”

“You don’t know if her answer has changed, the last time was months ago!”

Sirius had face-planted onto the bed. “Prongs, mate. You are too blindly in love.”

James snatched his towel up and marched toward the showers. “It’s go big or go home now!”

“Go _home_!” Remus yelled after him.

* * *

Lily’s quill scratched in the silence of the library. It was getting late now in addition to the fact that it was a Friday night, which was why barely any students were there with her. Marlene tried to stop her from going to the library, but Lily only promised to come back half an hour later and left.

She scanned her Potions textbook, then consulted an extra Potions book she had found on the shelves (with no help from Madam Pince). Someone slid into the chair opposite of hers, and Lily looked up, surprised. She frowned. “Potter?”

“Evans,” he said, his hazel eyes bright. “I have a very important question.”

“I don’t know of any potion to cure Remus of his chocolate addiction, sorry.” She returned to her essay.

“Not that,” said James, and Lily sighed, setting her quill down.

“Well?”

“Well, I’ve come to ask you out.”

Lily stared at him uncomprehendingly. “You’re kidding.”

“Why would I be?”

Lily bit her lip. “Potter, I’m… flattered that you- well, like me, but my answer hasn’t changed.”

James frowned. “Why?”

“Why? Why what?”

“I thought maybe we were finally on the same page. Or at least in similar books.”

“What page?”

“Well, I thought that you maybe liked me a little better.”

“Sure, but that doesn’t mean I'd like to _date_ you.”

“Maybe you would, maybe-”

Lily slammed her Potions textbook closed. “I’ve said _no_ already, Potter, what else do you need?”

His eyes were bright with anger now. “You know, there are a lot of other girls who’d love to be in your place!”

Lily laughed mirthlessly. “The level of your narcissism is astounding. Go ask one of them, then!”

“Do I have to hex Snape again just to-”

Lily stood up quickly, her chair squeaking against the floor. “I thought that you might’ve changed, Potter,” she said furiously in low tones. “But clearly you haven’t. Don’t talk to me.” She gathered her things and sped-walked away, leaving James frustrated and hurt at the table.

Lily stormed back up to the Gryffindor tower. How could she have been so naive to believe that James Potter had actually changed? He gave no indication of doing so for the past week. He got into a brawl with Nott and even admitted to tracking Snape down just to attack him. And maybe because the last time James had asked her out had been in November, she had thought that maybe he matured a little, grew up, moved on. She certainly didn’t expect him to ask her out and then proceed to push her further.

The Fat Lady leaned forward to get a better look at her. “You look angry, dearie. Boy trouble?”

Lily was in no mood to talk about it. “Euhedral,” she said, and the portrait swung open.

Most of her friends were in the common room, sitting on the floor. Raffaela waved her over. “Lily! We’re playing Exploding Snap.”

“Actually, we’re playing President, but with Exploding Snap cards,” said Mary as Lily joined them. “Wanna join? We can deal you in as auto-scum next round.”

“I’m good,” said Lily, sitting down next to Raffaela.

Raffaela nudged her. “You okay? You look a little flustered.”

Lily managed a smile. “I- it’s nothing. Just tired.”

“I knew you shouldn’t have gone to the library on a Friday night!” Marlene called across the circle, putting a card down.

“McKinnon, it’s doubles,” said Lola impatiently. “You can’t put that down.”

“What- it’s higher than the one Mila put down, though!”

“Back me up, MacDonald!”

“Mila put down doubles,” Mary explained patiently. “So everyone after her has to put down doubles until the pile is cleared.”

“That makes zero sense-”

“Just because it doesn’t work in your favor doesn’t make it nonsense-”

“Sod off, Haywood-”

The cards spontaneously exploded in their faces. Lily coughed in her elbow, fanning the air until the smoke cleared. “Dangerous,” she remarked.

“Well,” said Raffaela brightly, “new round?”

* * *

The library was actually quite the nice place for self reflection, James thought. The silence save for the rustling of pages or the sniffles from Madam Pince was amazing. It was like someone casted a spell over the students. James quickly grew sick of it, though, and part of him just wanted to stand up and yell something just to break the quietness in the air.

Instead, he stood up, still meditating on his recent failure. He ought to listen to Remus more often. Remus was right a shocking number of times. “When the statistics point somewhere, that’s where you should go,” James’s father liked to say. “Only sometimes, the statistics fool you.”

It seemed that only the last part ever stuck.

James was ready to leave the library and celebrate his most recent failure with the other Marauders, but someone stepped in his path. James’s lip curled.

Snape.

“I heard you talking to Lily,” the Slytherin said without preamble.

“Lurking, were you?” James snapped. “I should’ve known you would have nothing better to do on a Friday night than eavesdrop on people in a library.”

Snape flushed an ugly color. “She’ll never love you.”

“We’ll see about that.”

“She sees you for who you really are,” Snape continued vehemently. “A narcissistic, entitled, selfish _bully._ She isn’t fooled like the rest of those idiots are. And as long as you’re _you_ , she’ll never love you.”

James shoved past Snape. “Inspiring speech, Snivellus. Now unlike you, I actually have friends and I want to be with.”

He would never let Snape know, but his words did actually hit somewhere close to home. After all, all the statistics were pointing in the same direction. And for the first time, James intended to follow them.

“Where’ve you been?” The Fat Lady asked him. “It’s almost curfew.”

“Euhedral,” said James without answering, and climbed into the portrait hole. He knew immediately where Lily was, laughing on the floor with the other sixth year girls with a pack of Exploding Snap. He tried hard not to stare at her for too long, and instead went to his dormitory.

Sirius and Peter were lying on their stomachs on the floor, watching the Marauder’s Map with a bag of popcorn. Remus was sitting on his bed, his head in his hands. Sirius looked up. “Well? How’d it go?”

“Worse than what you’re thinking,” James said in response.

“Ah, tough break, Prongs. You’ll get her next time.”

James looked at the wall musingly. “No,” he said, “I don’t think I will.”

Sirius’s eyebrows creased. “Prongs?”

James lay on the carpeted floor next to Sirius and grabbed a handful of popcorn from the bag. “Where’d you get the popcorn?”

“Wormtail described as best he could to the house elves,” said Sirius, “and they made a batch for us.”

James tried one, crunching slowly. “It tastes… fruity.”

“I may have mentioned that popcorn could be sweet,” Peter admitted sheepishly.

“You just turned their heads all over the place,” Sirius groused. “Popcorn is simple- it’s butter and salt. Who makes it sweet, anyway?”

“Caramel corn is good,” Peter protested. “And kettle corn!”

“That’s practically the same thing. That’s one point.”

James ate another kernel. “What are we watching?”

“Look,” said Sirius, pointing at an empty corridor save for two names. “Someone has a date.”

“Mila Tehrani and Roger Killick,” James commented. “Still don’t see what she sees in him.”

“Must be a popular bloke, seeing as Evans kissed him last year.”

James didn’t say anything. He waited for the familiar wave of jealousy, and it came, but more muted than usual.

“Bertram Aubrey has a date too,” said Peter, giggling between his fingers.

“Eva Macmillan?” Sirius exclaimed. “She’s way out of his league. How that prat Aubrey got into Ravenclaw, I’ll never know.”

“We haven’t hexed him in awhile,” James mentioned thoughtfully. “That engorgement charm was genius.”

Sirius grinned. “Are you thinking what I’m thinking?”

A chocolate bar hit Sirius on the back of his head. “You two are insufferable,” Remus said from where he was on the bed.

“Aw, you sacrificed your chocolate to make us better people, Moony,” said Sirius sentimentally. He threw the bar back. “Here, have a bite.”

“I reckon we should find a way back into this tunnel tomorrow night,” James thought out loud, tapping the mentioned tunnel. “We still haven’t puzzled it out yet.”

“Because what kind of tunnel lets you out but doesn’t let you back in?” Sirius demanded.

“The temperamental kind?” Peter suggested.

“What d’you think, Moony?” Sirius asked.

“I’m fine with anything,” said Remus a bit tiredly.

“C’mon, Moony, it’ll be fun,” Sirius insisted. “You’ll see. How many Hogwarts students can say they know the whole castle?”

“It’s the full moon,” said Remus, his lips twitching up as he shrugged. “Makes me irritable.”

* * *

With Lola and Raffaela at Quidditch practice and Mary helping Madam Pomfrey teach First Aid lessons to the younger students, Lily ate lunch with just Marlene and Mila that Saturday. They were rather early to lunch at eleven, which explained the lack of students in the Great Hall and the calming lull of voices broken by the clattering of utensils.

Lily speared a boiled potato onto her fork. “How’s Roger?” she asked Mila. Lily didn’t talk all too often with Mila, at least not as much as she did with Marlene and Lola and Raffaela, and even Mary. She admired the witch for her boldness. Mila was certainly the prettiest of the bunch, with glossy, dark hair, caramel-like light brown skin, and blue-green eyes like jewels, and she had an air that just made people want her to love them, and the two combined made her quite sought after.

“Oh, he’s all right. I don’t know if it’ll last, though,” Mila added bluntly.

“Is it because of the shrimp?”

Marlene snorted into her slice shepherd’s pie.

Mila frowned bemusedly. “What?”

“Nothing,” said Lily.

Mila leaned toward her. “I heard James Potter asked you out again.”

Lily almost dropped her fork. “Where’d you hear that from?”

“Diana Turner. Why do you keep saying no, anyway?” Mila asked curiously. “He’s attractive, smart, popular- I mean, he’s got it all. And he won’t wait around forever. Unrequited love gets boring, and most girls would fight for your place.”

 _Something he just had to emphasize_ , thought Lily sourly.

Marlene put her arm around Lily. “This is a sore subject for her.”

“Five and a half years of bad happenings,” Lily agreed.

Mila shrugged. “What can you say? Boys turn to idiots when the girl they like is around.”

“Your wisdom is astonishing,” said Marlene.

“Comes from years of experience. And reading romance novels.”

“I read romance novels,” Lily pointed out.

Marlene snickered. “You read _classic_ romance novels. The situations aren’t the same today, Lils.”

Lily hid her smile. “You don’t think Potter would dress up as an old woman and scare me?”

“Don’t give him ideas,” Mila warned. “I think we’ve all seen enough after the house elf debacle of 1974.”

“No reminders of that, please,” said Lily. “The thought of it is painful enough.”

“You gotta give it to him, he is creative,” Marlene commented. “I would never think of anything like that.”

“Maybe because any sane human would know it was a horrible idea?”

“I don’t know,” Mila mused. “The dance really was something-”

Lily clapped her hands over her ears. “I don’t want to hear it!”

“The rose petals,” Marlene chimed in. “Really gave it an extra kick. Clever of him to charm them so they changed colors.”

Lily slouched, her cheeks burning, her hands now over her face. “I will murder you all.”

“It may have been humiliating for you, dear, but it was quality entertainment for the rest of the school,” said Marlene.

“What happened to Evans?” Lola asked, sitting next to Marlene. She was still in her Quidditch jersey and grey sweatshirt, mud stains all over her clothes. She was also soaking wet, water dripping from her dark brown ponytail, and Marlene leaned away from her and scooted into Lily, wrinkling her nose.

“She was reminded of something particularly unpleasant,” Mila informed her.

“1975 Valentine’s Day?”

“Not that one, although that one was also great,” allowed Marlene.

“It was the house elf debacle, wasn’t it?” Raffaela said, shoving in between Lola and Marlene and immediately piling a dish with roast beef, chicken, and casserole.

“You two are tracking mud everywhere,” Lily pointed out. “Filch will be after your blood.”

Lola shrugged, unconcerned, which sprayed rainwater all over Marlene, who yelped. “Watch it, Haywood! I want to change seats!”

“James had us out there since seven in the morning,” said Raffaela. “We’re starving. He wouldn’t even let us have pumpkin juice. I thought I was going to die, and the last thing I’d hear is James Potter screaming in my ear.”

“It was pretty rough,” Lola admitted. This, Lily reflected, was when you knew things were serious, because Lola never complained about physical discomfort.

“And Lola’s in charge of practice on Tuesday,” Raffaela informed them giddily, her mouth full of food. “I can’t _wait_ to see how this turns out.”

Lola scowled. “ _I_ can’t believe Potter put me in charge of all those flobberworms! That third year- what’s his name? Cooper?”

“Cootes,” Raffaela supplied helpfully, spooning casserole into her mouth.

“Cootes has practically no endurance and zero hand-eye coordination! What was Potter thinking, letting him be a reserve?”

“He isn’t that bad,” said Raffaela. “And Theresa Lincoln was a pretty good catch.”

“How will the Gryffindor team ever recover when all of us are gone?” Lola demanded.

Raffaela patted her on the back. “I think you enjoy being relied on.”

Lily spotted Jonathan Merton, one of the seventh year prefects, talking with the Head Boy and waved. He waved back and approached the group of girls. “Hey, Lily. Have you seen Remus anywhere?”

“I don’t think so,” said Lily. She frowned. She hadn’t seen Remus in the common room at all that morning, and he usually occupied the same reading spot each morning on the weekends. “I haven’t seen him since yesterday morning, actually. Why?”

Jonathan sighed. “Filch insists on him patrolling tonight. He thinks it’ll be easier to catch the others that way.”

“The others,” Lily repeated. “Potter and the rest?”

“Apparently Filch wants to end the Marauders’ shenanigans once and for all,” said Jonathan dryly.

Lola raised her eyebrows. “Ambitious.”

Jonathan sighed again. “Anyway, it’ll be fine. Tell him if you see him, all right?”

Lily promised him she would do so, and the seventh year left the Great Hall.

“Has anyone seen Remus today?” Mila asked.

Lily shook her head. “Maybe he doesn’t feel well?”

“Maybe his mum is ill again,” Marlene said. “Poor bloke. She seems to be ill an awful lot.”

Raffaela reached around Marlene to prod Lily. “What’s detention for tonight?”

“Sorting through eel eyes with Slughorn,” said Lily, making a face.

“At least Slughorn likes you,” said Marlene pointedly. “And let’s be honest, you would’ve volunteered to do it, anyway.”

“Not _eel_ eyes!”

“Slimy things,” Lola agreed. “Never touching one again.”

“How’s Potter dealing with rejection yet again?” Marlene asked Lola and Raffaela.

“You rejected him again?” Lola inquired, perplexed.

“You are so behind the times, Lola,” said Raffaela. “Keep up.”

Lola shrugged. “He seemed normal. A little distant, maybe, but he still had the energy to beat us to pulp. How’d he ask this time?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” said Lily shortly. She cringed just at the thought of their conversation. It was not something she would want to relive, ever.

* * *

Lily’s third detention on Sunday took place in the Hospital Wing, but rather than help around with Madam Pomfrey like she usually did when she volunteered, she was tasked with washing the bed linens and hanging them out to dry, and then make the beds with fresh linens. Without magic, as per usual.

“I’ll have been all over Hogwarts by the time my detentions are over,” Lily muttered to herself as she balanced the heavy basket of linens against her hip. She had never gotten that many detentions in a row- or that many detentions at all, in fact, but she knew as a prefect that most students in multiple detentions did the same task each time. McGonagall seemed intent on throwing her all over the place, though.

Lily threw a few of the linens into the basin of soapy water, flinching at the splash of water it brought. The linens smelled horrible, mostly of sweat, and some of them were mysteriously stained. Blood, maybe. One that looked terribly close to pus, and one that smelled terribly close to puke. She sighed and pulled her sleeves of her sweater up a little higher, and began to scrub the bedding. _I’ll never do anything to get into detention again,_ she vowed. And she had thought the eel eyes were bad. At least Slughorn let her use gloves.

Quiet detentions like these seemed to give her a lot of time to think, which could be good or bad depending on the situation. Right now, her mind seemed to trail inevitably back to the one thing- or rather, person- she didn’t want to think about.

James Potter. Possibly the most annoying specimen on the planet. He never, ever listened to her, and yet Lily couldn’t help but feel bad. Was she too harsh? It was just that every little thing he did annoyed her, even if he couldn’t help it. Except for in the greenhouse, when Lily thought that they might be able to be friends.

But then he asked her out in the most horrid way possible, and everything was back to square one.

Then there was the fact that Lily had never had a boyfriend. At the age of seventeen, shouldn’t she have dated at least once? She always likened herself to being a romantic, and here she was shying away from romantics. It wasn’t as if no one had asked her. Mary already had a boyfriend of two years, and Mila a whole list of exes. Marlene had a boyfriend in fifth year, a Hufflepuff named Jeffrey Davidson, of whom they did not speak of after he left her for Romilly Kent. Lola was expected not to have one since she hated everyone, and Raffaela- well, Raffaela seemed happier single than she would be in a relationship.

Lily rubbed the linens until her hands were raw, and then she shook them out and piled them back in the baskets. She went back into the main room of the Hospital Wing. “Madam Pomfrey, where should I hang these-”

She stopped. Madam Pomfrey was conversing briskly and quietly with a boy, the curtain parted a little ways. She leaned to the side to get a better look. “ _Remus_?”

Madam Pomfrey whirled around. “Miss Evans!”

Lily walked forward. “What’s happened? Remus, are you all right?”

She couldn’t help but notice that he didn’t quite meet her eyes. “I’m fine, Lily, there’s no need to worry. I’ve just got a bit of a cold, and Madam Pomfrey was going to give me some of her Pepperup Potion.”

Madam Pomfrey pulled her away from Remus. “I don’t have room to air dry these, so you can charm them. Fresh linens are in the closet. And stay away from the boy!” she warned. “His cold is very contagious.”

Remus sneezed.

Madam Pomfrey left, presumably to get some Pepperup Potion for Remus- if that was what she was doing at all. Lily couldn’t help but think something was off here. She shifted her head to get a look at the Marauder again. Remus waved. Lily waved back, still balancing the basket.

The doors of the Hospital Wing flew open so suddenly that Lily almost dropped her basket. James and Sirius strode in purposefully, Peter scurrying behind them hastily. The other Marauders came to a screeching halt when they saw Lily, and Lily stood there awkwardly with her basket of wet linens.

“Hi,” said Lily.

James walked toward Remus with barely a passing glance, but Sirius gave her a warning look that Lily couldn’t quite decipher. They crowded around Remus, short Peter at the front, and Lily backed into the back room to charm the sheets dry.

Was James… angry with her? And why did she care, anyway? And what was Sirius warning her about?

She remembered a conversation she had with Snape just last year. He kept pestering her about the theory he had, that Remus was- well, a werewolf, but Lily dismissed it entirely because it was insane, and how could it possibly be true? But now Lily wondered if Snape was partly right- if not that he was a werewolf, then that there was a pattern to Remus’s illness.

After detention, Lily went to the library- just as a reassurance, she told herself, that Snape was crazy- and checked the moon charts.

* * *

When Lola got to the Quidditch pitch on Tuesday, the whole team had gone to hell. Their Keeper, Ezra Edgecombe, was unsuccessfully trying to keep Theresa Lincoln and Alex Steward apart, who were scrabbling at each other. Steward kept trying to hit Lincoln on the head with his bat, and Lincoln seemed to be trying to kick Steward in the groin. Cootes was prodding one of the chained bludgers with curious apprehension, Alasdair Schmidt was randomly looping in the air and crashed into Nathan Cresswell, while Sirius seemed to just be lounging on the bleachers with Raffaela sitting beside him with her legs crossed.

Lola growled. “You two are useless.”

Raffaela shrugged. “I did my best.”

“I didn’t,” said Sirius peacefully.

Raffaela nudged him. “Because you’re a git.”

“Because I’m a git,” Sirius acknowledged.

“You two should be thrown into the Forbidden Forest,” Lola announced. “Honestly. What use is it having you around, anyway?”

“My good looks?” Sirius suggested.

“I’ve got nothing,” said Raffaela.

Lola sighed and turned back to the pitch. “Bloody hell,” she muttered.

Sirius wordlessly handed her the Captain’s whistle. She snatched it, glaring at him, and blew the whistle as loud as she could. “Everybody, listen up!” she yelled. “Everyone is going to line up _now_ or I’ll tell Potter to add an extra set to our conditioning, got it? Cresswell, Schmidt, on the ground now! Steward and Lincoln, give Edgecombe a break, will you? And get away from that bludger, Cootes!”

Sirius touched his heart. “Truly inspiring, Haywood.”

“Sod off, Black. Go line up with the rest.”

Lola mounted her broom and landed where Steward and Lincoln were, finally standing apart, each with bloody noses and mutinous expressions. “ _Episkey_ ,” she muttered, pointing her wand at each nose in turn, before crossing her arms. “Someone want to tell me what this is about?”

Neither player answered. Lincoln wiped her nose a bit defiantly. Lola had always secretly approved of how fiery Lincoln was. She was constantly in trouble with Potter and even some of the teachers (notably the D.A.D.A. teacher, Professor Kasnoff), but now wasn’t the time to compliment her.

“Well, save it for off the pitch, because I’ve got a _stack_ of homework waiting for me back at the Tower and I just want to get this over with, and I’m _this close_ to strangling both of you. So if you’ve got a problem, I don’t want to hear it. Go to the rest.”

Steward and Lincoln trudged to where the rest of the team had gathered. “Nice,” said Raffaela. “I think you were channeling your inner Lily there a bit. Well, not the last part. Lily would never say the last part.”

“Go away, Fawley.”

“You got it, Captain.”

It was a rough practice, to say the least. Whatever had transpired between Steward and Lincoln remained, as the Beater seemed to always find a reason to hit a bludger in the reserve Chaser’s direction, even when she was on the sidelines. Cootes, who was substituting for James, seemed to have grown even worse at catching and throwing the Quaffle. They hadn’t even released the snitch yet when Steward’s bludger almost hit Lincoln’s broom if Cresswell hadn't been there to block it, and Lincoln beelined for the Beater, almost knocking him off his broom.

Lola dove down and hovered just above the grass, and blew her whistle again. “Lincoln!” she screamed. “Get your arse back in position! Steward, I better not find you hitting another bludger in her direction again with good reason!”

“What an interesting practice,” a voice drawled. “The team breaking apart without Potter here?”

Lola whirled around where a tall boy leaned against the post with his broom, his short, light brown hair tousled. A Ravenclaw. Seven others were behind him in their jerseys. “Who are you?” she said rudely.

The Ravenclaw raised his eyebrows. “You don’t know? I’m offended. We’ve only been at the same school for six years now.”

“William… Hendrick, was it?”

“Will Hawthorne,” he corrected.

Lola landed and dismounted off her broom. “Well, what do you want, Will Hawthorne?”

“The funny thing is, we actually reserved the pitch for _our_ practice.”

“What d’you mean?”

“I mean you’re on our pitch right now.”

Lola laughed breathlessly. “You’re kidding.”

“Not-”

Her resolve snapped as she dove for the Ravenclaw and pummeled him into the ground. She could hear her teammates shouting. Hands tried to pull her off, but she only wrenched her arm out of their grasp and scrabbled at Will Hawthorne’s jersey. Perhaps she wasn’t being entirely reasonable, but all she could think about was wiping that smirk off his face.

Will Hawthorne punched her in the stomach and she doubled over, gasping.

“Hey, break it up!”

Lola rolled over and saw Professor Kasnoff pulling Sirius and Hawthorne apart with the help of Edgecombe. Raffaela was there, anxiously checking Lola for any injuries. “Stupid, stupid, stupid,” she muttered.

Professor Kasnoff glared at Lola. “I should’ve known you’d be involved, Haywood. And you!” This was directed at Sirius. “Always putting your head where it shouldn’t be.”

It was safe to say that Professor Kasnoff did not like Lola. It began with an unfortunate interruption in his class in which Lola may have rhymed his first name, Sean, with devil spawn. It was also safe to say that Professor Kasnoff absolutely loved Will Hawthorne. With the right amount of intelligence, studying, and careful flattery, Will Hawthorne was to Professor Kasnoff what Lily was to Slughorn. The Defense Against the Dark Arts professor also developed a hatred for the Marauders, which surprised everyone seeing as they were so loved among the staff.

“Haywood!” Professor Kasnoff barked, and Lola snapped her head up. “Are you listening?”

“No,” said Lola honestly.

“You two are banned from playing in the last match. I think it’s a fitting punishment, no?”

 _No_ , thought Lola.

Professor Kasnoff pulled her up roughly by the arm. “We’ll see about this… McGonagall won’t be pleased… you’ll get what you deserve…”

Lola was still winded from Will’s punch and her body ached all over. She shook out her knuckles and joined Sirius in following Professor Kasnoff, who was still muttering under his breath.

“Potter’s going to kill us,” said Lola.

Sirius looked grim as she’d ever seen.

* * *

Lily’s fifth detention was the next one she had with James, in which they were tasked by Filch to clean the trophies without magic. It was an awkward one for sure. The silence hung in the room and pressed against Lily so much so that she felt a need to break it.

After opening and closing her mouth for the eighteenth time, Lily finally gave up. She would never find any words, anyway, and why was she so anxious to talk to James Potter? They were not on good terms, and they never had been. But she guessed what unnerved her was that even James wasn’t making an attempt at conversation like he usually did. And that was why it was so silent in the trophy room.

He was in the one in the wrong, Lily reminded herself. She would wait for him to speak first.

But she hadn’t expected him to, so when he did, she dropped the shield she was polishing in surprise.

James caught it in a blur. “Reflexes,” he said, surprisingly looking a little embarrassed. Lily had never known James to be embarrassed of everything.

“Anyway,” James continued, “what I was saying was that once again, I did something wrong.”

“Shocking,” said Lily sardonically. James glared at her. “Sorry. Go on.”

“I went too far. I pushed _you_ too far. You were right; a no is a no and I should’ve accepted it.”

Lily was sufficiently impressed. “You’re getting good at apologies, Potter.”

“Must be all the chances I had to practice.”

“Touché.”

“What I’m trying to say is that I won’t ask you out again.”

Lily backtracked. “You won’t?”

James gave her a small smile. “I think I’ve understood by now that you’ll never say yes. A bloke has to give up sometime, doesn’t he?”

“Unrequited love gets boring,” said Lily, echoing Mila’s words.

“Wisdom at its greatest, Evans.”

“Mila said it,” Lily admitted.

“She’s with Roger Killick, isn’t she?”

“Alleged shrimp-lover,” Lily informed him.

“Fawley?”

“Raffaela Fawley at her greatest.”

James dusted his hands off on his jeans and then held one hand out. Lily stared at it. “So. Friends?”

“I don’t think we’re quite there yet,” said Lily. “Respectful acquaintances?”

James grinned. “Like with the Venomous Tentacula?”

“We’re actually respectful _strangers_.” Lily frowned. “Although it never agreed. Because you interrupted us!”

“Respectful acquaintances,” James agreed. “Shake on it?”

Lily shook his hand.


	3. Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> recap: lily, james, and sirius got into a duel with snape, and all four were given detention. Lily becomes suspicious of Remus in the hospital wing during one of her detentions. Lola, being in charge of the Quidditch practice, got into a fight with the Ravenclaw captain, and she and Sirius were banned from playing in the final match. Lily and James agreed to be acquaintances after James decided to stop asking her out.  
> Also note: the first scene is after Lily's Hospital Wing detention, which is before she and James agreed to be "respectful acquaintances"

**After Lily’s Hospital Wing Detention**

_Lily glanced discretely around to make sure no one was paying too much attention to her before pulling one of the thinner books off the shelf and flipping through the pages. It was a catalog of the moon phases, dating from 1910 to 2010. She stopped at the two pages labeled with large numbers- 1977._

_The past Saturday had been a full moon night._

_It could be a coincidence, she told herself. Anyone could feel ill on a full moon night. She tried to recall any other date that Remus disappeared, which was like hunting for the days she drank Butterbeer. There were too many and none in which she would remember the_ date.

_She snapped up and turned the pages to 1975. The first time she and Remus were supposed to watch over the first years, on Halloween, he had been gone, and she had been angry with him. He told her his mother was ill and he had to go back to visit, which seemed to be his most common reason for being gone._

_Another full moon._

_Lily felt a little sick now. Remus, her friend Remus, a werewolf? It was too much to comprehend. To think that her prefect counterpart could be a monster like_ that-

Stop this, Lily, _she scolded herself._ Remus is still Remus, even if he is a werewolf. He has enough to deal with without you accusing him of something he can’t help.

_But still she felt anxious. And she knew she wouldn’t feel any better until she confirmed the truth, which meant seeing the one person who had been trying to convince her of this theory for four years. The one person who, at this moment, she wanted to see even less than James Potter._

* * *

“You _what_?”

Lola winced. They weren’t dead yet, which was certainly a bonus, but James was looking pretty close to murderous.

“Honestly, Prongs, are you hard of hearing?” said Sirius exasperatedly. “I said, Haywood and I-”

“No, I heard you the first time,” James interrupted. 

He was pacing back and forth in front of the fire in the common room. Sirius and Lola exchanged resigned looks. As if their talk with McGonagall weren’t bad enough. James seemed angry enough to skin them alive and roast them over the Gryffindor fire.

“How could you- what the hell was going through your mind-”

Sirius looked a bit perturbed. “Slow down, mate. At least speak in full sentences if you’re going to feed us to the Acromantula.”

“This is our last match of the season,” James fumed. “Hawthorne’s already a pretty tough Seeker for Fawley to beat, and now you want me to work with Cootes and Lincoln?”

“I feel the need to point out that Haywood was the one who started all of this,” said Sirius. “I was only defending her honor-”

Lola punched his arm. Hard.

Sirius jumped to the side. “Ow. How is Hawthorne still alive?”

“We’re done for,” said James wonderingly. “This is it. This is the end. There’s no hope on the horizon.”

Sirius clapped a hand on James’s shoulder. “Prongs, mate. Have a little faith. Do you need a pep talk? Where’s Wormy? Oi, Peter!”

The small Marauder jumped up, startled, and made his way over to them. Sirius pulled him closer by the arm. “Prongs is feeling a little down.”

“Because you and Lola got yourselves banned from playing in the last match against Ravenclaw which will determine whether or not we win the Quidditch Cup but now he has to deal with two reserves that don’t know what they’re doing?” Peter guessed.

“A shockingly good summary, yes,” said James.

Sirius glared at Peter. “I brought you here to talk him up, not to give us a recap! I thought you were supposed to be the optimistic one.”

The Marauder shrugged. “It was a stupid thing to do. Why’d you have to hit him, anyway?” Peter asked Lola.

“His face was being annoying,” she replied.

James raked his hands through his hair. “Honestly, Haywood, what’s the matter with you? You punched him because you didn’t like his face?”

“I was wound up, okay? I mostly zone you out during Quidditch practices so I didn’t realize the extent of our team’s annoyingness!”

James covered his face with his hands. “I’m never putting you in charge again.”

“Good! You shouldn’t! I never want to relive that experience again!”

“Take her away, McKinnon,” James said to Marlene, who had been hovering nearby for the past few minutes with an amused look on her face. She gave a little salute and took Lola by the arm.

“You guys are screwed, aren’t you?” Marlene said.

“If you’re looking to win, wear blue at the match,” said Lola in response.

* * *

Lily’s last detention, as luck would have it, was with Severus Snape.

She sensed it was only a matter of time. She’d already had two James, one with Sirius, two with other students, and one alone. Lily didn’t understand why McGonagall couldn’t just put them all in a room and make the polish trophies and suits of armor for a week instead of keeping them guessing each day.

Lily supposed she was fortunate that the detention was with Professor Slughorn, who completely ignored the fact that Lily and Snape were ignoring each other and filled the silence with his own chatter. Still, Lily actually had a purpose to being there, a pressing question she had to ask Snape, but she couldn’t work up the courage to ask it and couldn’t do it under Slughorn’s attention. The Potions Master was going on and on about the first time he knew he brewed the perfect batch of Felix Felicis (“Put both of your brains together and you could brew one better than I could,” Slughorn had chuckled, apparently unaware that Lily and Snape were not on the best terms).

Slughorn finally left (momentarily) to check on the Polyjuice Potion he had been brewing for Dumbledore. Lily wasn’t sure if this was information she and Snape were allowed to know, but he didn’t seem too concerned about it. Dumbledore could have all kinds of reasons for wanting Polyjuice Potion, anyway. Maybe he wanted to burn Madame Malkin’s sweater collection without drawing suspicion to himself. Lily wouldn’t blame him.

She cleared her throat, and Snape glanced at her bewilderedly before deliberately averting his eyes. Fine. He didn’t have to taint his eyes with her mudblood self if he didn’t want to. They didn’t have to be friends for him to answer her question.

“Do you remember back when we-” She changed tactics. “- a few years ago, when you kept saying- well, hinting, that you thought Remus might be a… a werewolf?”

Snape didn’t say anything. Lily took this as acquiescence and plowed forward. “Do you still… think that?”

“Doubting your values now?” the Slytherin said sneeringly.

“I’ve done nothing of the sort,” said Lily hotly. “I only wanted to know, that’s all. Madam Pomfrey was acting a little suspicious.”

“It doesn’t matter, anyway,” Snape muttered. “I can’t tell you anything.”

Lily leaned forward, her interest piquing. “You’ve been sworn to secrecy?”

Snape finally cracked a smile, and it was almost like they were friends again and the fifth year incident hadn’t happened at all. “Something like that.”

“That must mean it’s true,” Lily said to herself. She thought she would’ve been in more shock. “I mean, I checked the moon charts and the full moon was on Saturday, but I thought it might’ve been a coincidence. This is better, at any rate.”

Snape’s head snapped up. “What?”

“Well, after the suspicious encounter with Madam Pomfrey, I thought Remus might have chronic Dragon’s Pox or something like that. It’s not like being a werewolf can kill him. Well, directly, anyway.”

“But he could kill others,” said Snape disbelievingly. “He’s dangerous.”

Lily pinned him down with a _come on_ look. “It’s Remus we’re talking about. Prefect Remus. Obsessed with chocolate Remus. Sprinkles cinnamon on top of his porridge Remus. Writes extra scrolls for Transfiguration homework Remus. Merlin, why does Professor Slughorn need so many eel eyes sorted?” She threw away a particularly nasty one. “Anyway, if there’s anyone I trust to make sure he’s safe and we’re all safe, it’s Remus.” She winced. She was talking far too fast.

“But he’s a- he’s a _monster_ ,” Snape exploded.

Lily narrowed her eyes. “ _He’s_ a monster? Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. Who preaches ‘blood purity’ and the deaths of innocents? Who hurts people just because they don’t come from wizarding families? Who supports a cause that will destroy hundreds of lives?”

“Lily!” Snape gaped, aghast. “I don’t- I would never hurt you-”

He snapped his mouth shut. Lily was certain they were both remembering a certain duel that happened just a week ago, the duel that put them both in detention.

“I think it’s a little too late for that,” said Lily coolly.

“Dumbledore’ll be quite pleased,” said Slughorn cheerily as he walked back into the Potions room. “The potion is progressing nicely. Lily, what’s that?”

Lily stopped, her arm mid-way to the trash, and looked down at her hand. The eel eye was perfectly fresh and potent. Slughorn tutted. “Your mind is clearly somewhere else. No matter, no matter, I’ve caught you just in time. Say, you two wouldn’t like to take this one, would you? I’m sure you could brew _glorious_ things with it!”

“That’s all right, Professor,” said Lily. “You should leave it for yourself, or the fourth years.”

“Indeed, indeed,” said Slughorn, beaming at the eel eye and then both of them.

Lily and Snape smiled weakly back.

* * *

After James and Sirius finished their last detention, the Marauders holed up in their dorm room with another bag of fruity popcorn. It had been two days already, and James was still feeling sullen over the Gryffindor team’s doomed fate.

James chewed gloomily. “It kind of tastes like black currants.”

Sirius threw popcorn at Peter, who ducked uselessly. “Did you tell them about butter and salt? We’re not American, here.”

“It was no use!” Peter cried. “And they were so excited about the different flavors they made, I didn’t want to disappoint them.”

“Children, children,” said Remus, “let’s not make a mess.” He waved his wand and the popcorn Sirius threw disappeared. “Besides,” he added loyally. “I like it.”

“You’d eat rat liver cake if it made someone happy,” Sirius grumbled.

“Hey, I’m right here,” Peter objected.

“Let’s focus here,” said James, raising his voice. “I’d like to revise the map before I get into detention again.”

Remus tapped his wand on the map, marking a second entrance of the tunnel they had explored Saturday night, the one that let the user out of the castle but not back in. “No use now,” said Sirius moodily. “It’s completely caved in.”

“Sorry,” said Peter. “My bad.”

James tapped his own wand on the map so that a pile of rocks appeared in the tunnel. “There-”

A knock sounded on their door. “Um- hello?” a girl’s voice said uncertainly.

“A bird,” Sirius whispered gleefully, getting up from where they were on the floor. “Sirius Black, here,” he called through the door. “Are you looking for someone?”

“Um, it’s Lily Evans. I wanted to talk to Remus?”

James felt his heart rate spike, and he tried to calm himself. _Just acquaintances,_ he reminded himself.

Sirius deflated and opened the door. “Oh. It’s just you.”

Lily raised her eyebrows coldly. “Nice to see the enthusiasm, Black.”

“It’s just that you’re off limits,” Sirius explained, and James stuffed his face into a nearby bed. “I mean, I know you and Prongs are mates now, or whatever you guys called it-”

“Respectful acquaintances,” Lily filled in.

“Yes, that. Anyway, it would still be weird. What’d you want to talk to Moony about? Boring prefect stuff?”

Lily shut the door behind her. “Actually, it’s a little more personal.”

To their surprise, the redhead sat on the floor with the rest of them. James surreptitiously tapped the Marauder’s Map with his wand so that the parchment went blank and looked back up to see Lily looking at them solemnly.

“I-” Her focus was momentarily diverted to the popcorn in Peter’s hand. “Is that popcorn?”

Peter nodded.

“I haven’t eaten any since I last went to the movies.” She took a kernel from the bag, apparently not seeing the puzzled looks on the wizards’ faces. Lily made a face. “Tastes like black currants.”

“That’s what I said,” said James.

“Go on, Lily,” Remus prompted.

Lily steeled herself. “Right. Remus, everyone.”

They waited.

Lily took a breath. “I know Remus is a werewolf,” she announced.

James’s heart rate spiked again, but this time for entirely different reasons.

“Werewolf?” repeated Sirius, feigning surprise that James found rather unconvincing. “What… there aren’t any werewolves here at Hogwarts. No sir. Not a single one. And definitely not Remus.”

Peter shook his head helplessly, and Remus buried his face into his bent knees.

“You don’t have to say anything, Remus,” Lily added quickly. “Merlin, I should’ve talked to you alone, shouldn’t I have? I’m sorry, that was rude of me. I just wanted to let you know that I’m here for you if you need anything- although you already have quite the support group, however bad they are at keeping secrets-”

“I’m great at keeping secrets,” Sirius protested.

“You just blew our cover,” James pointed out.

“It’s Evans,” said Sirius. “She says one word and suddenly you have to tell her everything you did wrong and repent your sins.”

“I feel very impressive,” said Lily, looking pleased, then suspicious, as if she doubted Sirius’s true motives. “Anyway, you’re still amazing, Remus, and I don’t think any less of you, and don’t worry, because your secret’s safe with me. Just know that there’s one more person you can trust.” She patted his knee and got up, gave a little wave, and left.

The dormitory was silent. “What just happened?” Peter said finally.

“Trust Evans to go sniffing around,” muttered Sirius.

“She took it well, in my opinion,” said James mildly.

Remus still had his face covered. “She hates me.”

“Honestly, Moony, is that what you got from ‘I’m here for you if you need anything’ and ‘you’re amazing’?” said Sirius impatiently.

“Everyone in the castle will know by the end of next year. Dumbledore’ll kick me out. I won’t even be able to take my N.E.W.T. exams.”

“Don’t be daft,” said Sirius. “Evans wouldn’t tell a soul, and Dumbledore has Snape’s lips locked tighter than my mother’s secret Gringotts vault. I’m not too concerned.”

Remus shoved his shoulder. “Of course _you’re_ not concerned, prat, you practically just confessed to Evans just then.”

“I’m telling you, that girl makes you want to confess everything. And I rather think Evans will be a nice ally for you to have, however much she hates Pr- well, mainly me now. You two are already chummy, aren’t you?”

“There’s quite a big difference between being friends with a fellow prefect and being friends with a fellow prefect who’s a _werewolf,_ Padfoot!”

“She’ll get it over it,” said Sirius dismissively. “C’mon, Moony. You’re practically the least dangerous thing in this school. Stanley Cootes with a Beater’s bat is a scarier concept than you.”

“Never letting him near one again,” James agreed. He was immediately reminded of the fact that Gryffindor would be playing against Ravenclaw in just two weeks, and they would be playing without Sirius or Lola Haywood. He sobered.

Sirius pressed his lips together. “Yeah, still super sorry about that, mate.”

Peter snickered. “I can’t believe you got into a brawl with Will Hawthorne.”

“I can’t believe we had to be found out by Kasnoff! Flitwick would’ve been more reasonable. I was only defending Haywood, anyway. Hawthorne punched her in the stomach. No one punches Haywood in the stomach.”

“I’d fear for my life,” Peter conceded. “Hawthorne better start checking things off his bucket list.”

Remus frowned. “You were just itching for a fight, Sirius. Do you have to punch every person you meet?”

“I didn’t punch any of you when we first met,” Sirius pointed out.

“No, you punched Moony,” James recalled. “He accidentally took your dragon hide gloves and got dragon dung all over them.”

“But that wasn’t when we _first_ met. Besides, that’s how we first became friends. So punching people really does wonders, don’t you think?”

“I don’t think punching Will Hawthorne will make us mates,” said Remus dryly.

“Because he’s bloody unreasonable, that’s why,” declared Sirius. “Now, has anyone figured out how to plot the Room of Requirement? Because it’s really bothering me.”

* * *

Lily exhaled as soon as she exited the Marauders' dorm room and leaned her head against the wall. After seeing Snape's reaction, she was determined to accept Remus for who he was. After all, it wasn't all that different from being a muggle-born, was it? Both were discriminated against, ostracized, deemed lesser than "normal" wizards. And Remus would never hurt her. She knew that.

Would he?

She shook herself and returned back to her own dorm.

* * *

Lily sat in her regular seat in Potions with Lola, Raffaela, and Georgie Goldstein, nodding off next to her cauldron. She had been up almost the entire night alternating between overthinking her interaction with the Marauders and finishing Kasnoff and McGonagall’s essays. Lola, however good of a student she was, was dozing off beside her, and Raffaela had her chin propped up on her arms, peering blearily at Slughorn, who was still lecturing. Only Georgie seemed at least a little awake, and she routinely tapped Lola from across her, but Lola only swatted her hand away.

“Goodness!” Slughorn boomed suddenly, and half the class fell over out of their seats. “My students never fall asleep when I talk of Amortentia. What’s gotten into all of you?”

“Sorry, Professor,” said James. “A lot of us had to stay up to finish homework.”

“Ah, yes, N.E.W.T.-level workload,” said Slughorn. “No worries, m’boy-” Lola rolled her eyes. “- we’ll just move along to the potion-brewing, then. Today we’ll be brewing the Elixir to Induce Euphoria in pairs that I will be assigning- I saw that, Wright. Hopefully it’ll wake you up a bit. Let’s see… Abbott and Brenton!”

Lily put her head back on the table. Georgie frowned at them. “Did you guys drink any coffee?”

“Not enough,” muttered Lola.

“Evans and Potter!”

Lily snapped up. “What.”

Lola turned her head, which was now leaning against her cauldron. “Shouldn’t be a problem, aren’t you two mates now?”

“Respectful acquaintances,” Lily and Raffaela corrected at the same time.

“It’s more of a coexistence thing,” Lily added. “I don’t get into his way and he doesn’t get into mine. Doesn’t change the fact that he’s a git and a toerag.”

“Haywood and Hawthorne!”

“Bloody hell,” Lola muttered. “That twat? Stop _laughing,_ Fawley.”

“Serves you right, Lola,” said Lily sternly. “Why’d you have to go and punch him, anyway?”

“Hey, I did everyone a favor there. The git deserved it.”

“Fawley and Lestrange!”

Lola gave Raffaela a satisfied look. “Yeah, that shut you up real quick, didn’t it?”

Slughorn paired the rest of the students up, half of whom were half asleep and the other half of whom were jittery with coffee. The stools screeched as students wearily got up and crossed the room. Lola sighed. “Wish me luck.”

“Don’t provoke him,” said Lily. “You know Slughorn likes him better.”

“I can’t see why,” said Lola, giving Will Hawthorne an acid glare, which he returned. “He’s pure evil. Get over here!” she yelled at the Ravenclaw when he didn’t budge.

“Why don’t you get over _here_?” Will Hawthorne yelled back.

Lily rolled her eyes and gathered her things. “Honestly, are you two five?” She magicked her cauldron away and went to join James, Sirius, and Sirius’s partner, Eva Macmillan. Eva was sobbing into her hands, and Sirius had his arm around her, speaking in soothing tones. Lily raised her eyebrows at James, who was looking annoyingly chipper and awake.

“She broke up with Bertram Aubrey,” James explained.

“Then why is she crying?”

“Honestly, Evans, have you no tact?” said James, shaking his head. “What are we brewing again?”

“The Elixir to Induce Euphoria.” _Were you even paying attention?_

James quirked an eyebrow. “Sounds healthy.”

Lily slumped onto her stool and tilted her head to peer at James. “How are you awake?”

“A marvelous invention called _coffee,_ Evans.”

Lily yawned and opened her Potions textbook. “What’s first? Shrivelfig. Go get the Shrivelfig, Potter.”

James hopped off his stool. “Yessir.”

Lily dragged herself off her own stool to the shelves at the back where she knew Slughorn kept the Wormwood. It seemed Lola and Will finally found a spot that was at neither of their original tables. Will was skinning the Shrivelfig while Lola hovered by the side.

Lola snatched the Shrivelfig away. “You’re skinning it wrong,” she said impatiently.

Will snatched it back. “I think I know how to skin a Shrivelfig, Haywood.”

Lily hid her smile. She carefully avoided Snape’s table. He was studiously ignoring her, anyway. She guessed that his time for begging for her forgiveness was over. Which was well and all, since the more time passed, the more Lily was sure that she would never fully be able to forgive him. She missed him, for sure. But she mainly missed the old Severus, and the old Severus had changed.

Lily realized she had been staring at the same spot on the shelf for the past few minutes. She shook herself and scanned the shelves, spotting the Wormwood at the very top, a good three feet above her. “Of course,” she muttered. “Of course it had to be on the top shelf.”

She jumped up. Her fingers skimmed the glass jar.

“Having trouble?” James Potter said from behind her.

Lily glared at him. “Did you get the rest of the ingredients?”

“Down to the Sophorous Beans. Need some help?”

Lily huffed. “No.”

James rolled his sleeves up. “Stand aside, shortcake."

“ _Shortcake_?” Lily echoed, feeling her resentment building. “Are you calling me short, Potter?”

James looked immediately sorry he ever opened his mouth. “No.”

“You are _so_ juvenile,” she snapped.

James averted his eyes to the ceiling. “I’m never speaking again after this.” Still, he reached up and easily got the Wormwood, and Lily let him.

They returned to their seats with the Wormwood, where Eva was still crying and the only ingredient Sirius and Eva had was a single Griffin claw.

“Black,” said Lily. “You don’t need a Griffin claw.”

“Really?” said Sirius, looking genuinely surprised.

James looked over at Sirius’s textbook and shoved his head. “We’re brewing the Elixir to Induce Euphoria, you prat, not Strengthening Solution.”

“We did that last year, actually,” Lily recalled.

James steered Sirius away toward the ingredient cabinets. “Rest easy, Padfoot. We’ve got your girl’s situation under control.”

“Do you?” said Lily skeptically.

“Well, at least Evans does.”

Lily sat down on Sirius’s recently vacated stool and rubbed Eva’s arm. “Eva, dear, do you want to talk about it?”

“I don’t even know why I’m crying,” Eva sobbed. “I was the one who broke up with him.”

Lily knew the feeling. She supposed everyone did- crying because she felt like it and not knowing exactly why. It was an exhausting feeling and frustrated her to no end, because if she didn’t know why she was crying, then why was she crying in the first place? But she always felt better in the end, as if some weight had been lifted off of her. She supposed Eva just needed the same thing and she happened to erupt during Potions.

“He was just being such a prat!” Eva cried. “And a sexist pig- and- and-”

“Nothing more than a flobberworm you wish you could step on?” Lily guessed.

Eva laughed tearfully. “Exactly. I don’t know why I even dated him, anyway. He isn’t popular or attractive or even charming.”

“So why did you?” asked Lily curiously.

Eva sniffled. “I don’t know. He was nice to me. He seemed different than the other guys I usually date. He was more… stable. But he’s a git! And sexist! I can’t date a sexist.”

“No,” Lily agreed. “You really can’t.”

“And now I just keep _crying_ and I don’t know why, I mean I got _rid_ of the guy. That’s what I wanted.”

“Good for you,” said James, skinning the Shrivelfig. “No one likes him, anyway.”

Lily glared at him. “Maybe you’re partly crying about something else,” she suggested to Eva. “And don’t worry about Aubrey. You did the right thing.”

“Maybe,” said Eva. “You’re probably right. Thanks, Lily. I think I wasted a lot of your time, sorry.”

“Not really,” Lily assured her. “A lot of other students are… reaching a few barriers right now.” Particularly Lola and Will Hawthorne, who were still fighting over the way Will skinned the Shrivelfig. She looked back to the crying girl. “Would you feel better if Potter hexed him?”

“I would, actually,” Eva admitted.

James jumped up, Shrivelfig shavings flying through the air. “Say no more,” he declared. “Padfoot and I have it covered.”

Lily scowled at him.

“I’m dead serious,” said James. “And don’t open your mouth and make a joke out of that!” he added when he saw Lily’s small smile that she was desperately trying to hide. “I swear, you learn faster than Padfoot.”

“Because I’m _smarter_ than him.”

“Oi, Evans,” said Sirius reproachfully, finally returning to the table with their ingredients. “I heard that.”

Lily scooted off his stool innocently and went back to their cauldron. She lit the fire with a simple wave of her wand while James let the purplish liquid of the Shrivelfig trickle into the cauldron. Lily glanced at her Advanced Potion-Making textbook for reassurance before adding the crushed porcupine quills. She’d made this potion before in Potions Club when she and Snape were bored in their fourth year. It was actually the same Potions Club meeting that the Marauders had attended, and James and Sirius made a poor, unsuspecting Hufflepuff’s cauldron explode.

But regardless of the Marauders’ immature antics, it had been a very important club meeting- the discovery of the use of peppermint sprigs in the Elixir to Induce Euphoria.

Someone prodded her in between her shoulder blades. “Evans. You’re nodding off.”

“Mm.” Lily didn’t lift her head.

“You want me to brew this potion by myself? I thought you’d be a little more concerned about your track record of perfect potions.”

Lily sat up with a sigh. “If you can’t stare at a potion while it simmers, you have way worse problems to deal with.”

“I certainly do,” James agreed.

Lily stirred the Elixir gently twice and checked the fire underneath the cauldron. The intoxicating aroma of the potion began to fill the room- but so did less pleasant smells, like a melted cauldron. The smell itself wouldn’t make the brewer excessively happy, but it did tend to soothe people.

“So how did you figure out Moony’s… condition?” James asked casually.

Lily yawned and blearily checked her Potions book to make sure the step description matched their potion. “Moon charts.” She glanced at Remus, who was across the room patiently working with Benjy Fenwick.

“But that can’t be all, can it? You can’t assume something just from one or two nights.”

“What does it matter to you?” said Lily suspiciously.

“Snivellus told you, didn’t he?” James demanded.

Lily glared at him. “Don’t call him that. And no, he didn’t. Do you always have to be so quick to suspect him?”

No one ever expected it, but Lily was quite adept at lying when she needed to be. Besides, it wasn’t like it was a lie- Snape didn’t tell her. He only implied it. A little obviously, and he denied nothing, but it was only an implication all the same. Lily didn’t know why she was protecting him. Maybe a part of her would always want to protect him, to prove he wasn’t what everyone thought he was.

But it turned out he was. She was so busy trying to defend Snape to her friends, she didn’t see what he had become. At least not until the end of fifth year.

Lily added the sprig of peppermint, and James frowned. “What’s that?”

“Peppermint sprig,” said Lily. “Sev- Snape and I were experimenting and found that it tends to counterbalance the side effects.”

“Snape, huh,” James muttered darkly, and Lily shot him a look.

“Evans,” he said suddenly, “why can’t we be friends?”

“Because,” said Lily shortly. “Because you’re a git. Because we can’t have a single conversation without arguing with each other.”

“We’ve had two so far,” James pointed out. “And isn’t that what makes our relationship so special?”

“Toerag,” muttered Lily.

“Shortcake,” James shot back.

They didn’t speak for the rest of class.

* * *

The final match of the season took place the third Saturday of May, and even the sixth and seventh years took a break from their books to attend. It was a subject of much excitement among students, as Ravenclaw and Gryffindor had been neck and neck until Hufflepuff's Seeker caught the Snitch over their Seeker reserve in the match before the last, and Gryffindor was now 170 points behind. Hufflepuff, having already secured fourth place, heard of Bertram Aubrey’s treatment toward Eva Macmillan, one of their own, and threw their full support behind Gryffindor. Although, as William Hawthorne pointed out, James Potter and Sirius Black had hexed numerous innocent Hufflepuffs throughout the years.

“The Aubrey Incident happened sooner,” Dankworth, one of the Hufflepuff sixth year prefects, finally responded after a long silence in Herbology.

"Macmillan was the one who broke up with Aubrey in the first place," argued Hawthorne, and Georgie Goldstein made his textbooks chase him around for the next two hours with a simple flick of her wand.

“Ravenclaw really is full of prats, isn’t it?” Lola remarked at breakfast before the match. She had been in a terrible mood lately, which Lily understood, but she privately thought that Lola had brought it upon herself. Still, Lola had been irritable enough after Slughorn pronounced her and Hawthorne’s potion “barely passable” (“That git ruined it for us!”), but after the chatter about the Gryffindor vs Ravenclaw match began, she was positively terrifying. In fact, she had casted a silencing charm on a Ravenclaw fourth year in the library just a few days ago when he merely mentioned the match to his friend. Marlene had to bribe the fourth year with Chocolate Frogs just so he wouldn’t go off running to one of the Ravenclaw prefects.

“I mean,” Lola continued, “there’s Hawthorne. Aubrey. That twat Carina Tugwood.”

Lily, who had already found it best just to agree with her, only nodded and patted her shoulder sympathetically.

“Cootes has no chance,” said Lola. “Why did Potter let him on the team in the first place?”

“Probably because he didn’t think you and Sirius would be banished in one fell swoop,” Raffaela commented boredly, doing the crossword puzzle in the Daily Prophet while spooning porridge into her mouth.

“I can’t believe I’m not playing in the last match of the season,” Lola muttered.

“Maybe you shouldn’t have punched Will Hawthorne, then,” Marlene pointed out.

Lola made a face at her. “How’s our esteemed captain taking it?” she asked Raffaela.

“He’s deranged,” said Raffaela. “You should’ve seen him at the last practice we had. Well, you would’ve, had you shown up. Anyway, he looked close to tears. I think he punched a tree at one point.”

“I swear to God, Fawley, if you don’t catch the Snitch-”

“Why don’t you worry about yourself, Haywood-”

“Let’s just enjoy the game,” Lily suggested placatingly, “and cheer Raf on. Who knows, maybe Cootes will surprise all of us.”

* * *

He didn’t.

The match lasted all of fifteen minutes. Cootes, who Lily had never seen despite hearing so much about, wasn’t as bad as Lola made him seem, but he wasn’t all that good, either. He could barely keep track of where James Potter and Theresa Lincoln were. Lincoln was keeping up remarkably well for her first or second game, and by the time five minutes had gone by, James had already scored a goal.

Lily cheered along with the other Gryffindors.

“What is he doing?” Lola snapped, referring to Cootes, who was hanging back on the sidelines in the air. “He needs to go in _now_.”

Marlene smiled through gritted teeth. “Haywood, if you don’t stop commenting I might just hex you into oblivion.”

“She saw the Snitch!” Lola shouted.

And indeed, Raffaela seemed to come to a stop in the air and dive down, Hawthorne tailing closely behind. Lily felt her heart beat faster as it always did during moments like this. She might not understand Quidditch very well- in fact, she was woefully unknowledgeable on it- but she felt a sudden bout of nervousness along with a plea for Raffaela to catch the Snitch.

“Oi, why is that prig tailing her?” Lola demanded. “No eyes or talent of his own, just piggybacking on others.”

Raffaela, who had been engaged in a chase with the Snitch and had been weaving through Chasers and Beaters alike so expertly she almost lost Hawthorne, was just a finger’s breadth away from the Snitch. Lola was gripping Lily’s arm so hard she thought it might just snap off. Raffaela reached an arm out, her fingers brushing-

And then Cootes came out of nowhere and nearly rammed into her. Raffaela swerved quickly downward, falling off her broom and tumbling face first into the grass. Lily gasped and peered over the edge of the stands, Lola and Marlene next to her. 

“Oi, Fawley!”

The fall had not been high in Quidditch standards (although extremely high in hers), just well above ten feet, but if Raffaela had really fallen on her face… 

Madam Pomfrey ran onto the field along with two other students and helped Raffaela sit up. Lily breathed a sigh of relief. “Oh, she’s alive.”

Lola growled. “That _Cootes_ -”

Her voice was drowned out by boisterous cheering and whistling from across the pitch. Lily looked up. Will Hawthorne was sailing around the pitch, the Snitch struggling in his hand.

“Oi!” Lola shouted to the Ravenclaws across, although she could not be heard. “Our Seeker nearly _died_ here!”

The Gryffindors muttered ugly names underneath their breath and began to file out of the stands, Lily, Lola, and Marlene following closely behind. “Trust Hawthorne to catch the Snitch when Raffy almost gets killed,” Lola muttered angrily. “I swear, that prig-”

As soon as Lily was on the ground, she ran toward the field, where Raffaela was already surrounded by Madam Pomfrey and the Gryffindor team. Lily faltered at the edge of the crowd. “Is she all right?” Lily asked Madam Pomfrey breathlessly.

“She took a nasty tumble,” Madam Pomfrey said grimly. “She’s a little disoriented, and she has quite a few broken bones, but she’ll be all right.”

Potter was shouting at Cootes outside the circle. Lily nodded toward him. “What’s up with him?” she asked Ezra Edgecombe.

“Cootes was being tailed by a Bludger and he wasn’t paying attention,” Edgecombe explained. “James- er, Captain- well, Potter’s furious.”

James conveniently chose that time to yell, “You could’ve gotten her _killed_!”

When Lily turned back to her friend, she realized both Lola and Sirius Black were already in the center of the circle, Sirius propping Raffaela’s head up. Surprised, Lily stopped for a moment.

“Fawley,” said Sirius loudly, “can you see me?”

“I can see _three_ of you,” Raffaela said, her words slurring into each other.

“Has she gone mad?” Lola demanded on the other side of her.

“No, Miss Haywood,” said Madam Pomfrey impatiently. “As I’ve already said, she’s merely disoriented. Now, we need to get her to the Hospital Wing so I can heal her bones. She’ll have to stay one night, just to sleep off the effects.”

Lily and Marlene helped Raffaela onto the stretcher Madam Pomfrey had summoned. The matron waved her wand and the stretcher set off on its own accord, Madam Pomfrey and the three Gryffindor girls following after. Which was no use, really, as Madam Pomfrey wouldn’t even allow them the doors to the Hospital Wing.

“You know the rules,” said Madam Pomfrey firmly when they protested. “You’ll only get in the way. Get back to your common room, I’m sure there’s a party well underway by now.”

“We just lost,” Lola pointed out.

Madam Pomfrey shut the door in their faces.

“Rude,” Lola muttered. “Madam Fernsby was way nicer.”

The Gryffindor party was a somber one. The chatter around the common room was hushed, students gathering with each other in small groups. Lily spotted James in the center of the room, a Butterbeer in his hand, and the Marauders around him. He looked to be in a terrible mood, and Lily found herself wondering how the result of the match had this much influence over him. He and the other Marauders had always been the life of the party, even after Gryffindor’s losses the years before. Was there another reason he was so sour?

Which wasn’t something Lily should be thinking about. They were only acquaintances, Lily reminded herself, and barely acquaintances, at that. In fact, she could just _barely_ tolerate him. She certainly didn’t care whether or not he was troubled.

Stanley Cootes was completely ostracized in the corner except for one girl, who seemed to be there out of sympathy. It was hard for Lily not to pity him. He made a mistake, and it hurt Raffaela badly, but that wasn’t the reason people were angry with him. They were angry with him simply because he got in the way of them winning the Quidditch Cup, and in Lily’s opinion, that was the stupidest reason to be cross. Of course, _she_ was rather cross with him for nearly killing Raffaela, but she couldn’t care less about the Quidditch Cup at the moment.

Marlene tapped her arm and pointed at the refreshments table. “There.”

“Where do you suppose the Marauders get all of this?” Lily wondered, tilting the Butterbeer bottles. There were crisps and pies and sweet rolls, and things you could only get from Hogsmeade, like the Butterbeers and the sweets from Honeydukes, and sausage rolls from Louis Loughty’s stand.

Marlene shrugged. “Who knows what they’re up to? They keep everything mysterious.”

“Imagine our disappointment in knowing the truth,” Lily remarked.

“That’s why they don’t tell us, Evans,” said Lola snarkily.

Lily took one of the chocolate glazed biscuits and nibbled on them cautiously. Most Gryffindors had learned over the years not to trust all food given by a Marauder. One sometimes found themselves sprouting horns or speaking in Gaelic after eating their food. Lily swallowed a crumb and found her tongue still in her mouth, and deemed the biscuit safe.

“This is just plain depressing,” Marlene commented.

“I’m just plain depressed,” Lola retorted.

“Because this party is plain depressing,” said Marlene.

“You two are running in circles,” Lily informed them.

Lily happened to glance back to the center of the common room to see James mutter something to his friends before getting up stiffly and leaving. “I’m going to go out for a bit,” Lily said automatically.

Lola shrugged and Marlene gave her an odd look, but didn’t say anything. Lily slipped out of the portrait hole after James, berating herself in her head.

 _What are you doing?_ _Or, more importantly,_ _why are you doing this? You should just walk in the opposite direction and go back and tell Lola and Marlene you wanted to go on a stroll._

Lily was ready to turn around and head back, but before she could, James turned his head and looked at her. “Evans,” he said flatly.

“Potter,” she said resignedly.

“What? Come to give me a lecture?”

“On what?”

“You always seem to find something,” he muttered.

“Well,” said Lily, leashing her irritation in, “I didn’t come to give you a lecture. I came to ask if you were all right.”

“Really?” said James sardonically.

Lily crossed her arms. “What’s going on with you? Look, I know that the match may have been a little disappointing, but it’s no reason to-”

She stopped when she saw his eyes flash and his hand curl around his wand, and for a moment she thought he might strike her or pull his wand out on her.

“You don’t know me,” James snarled. “You don’t know me at all. So stop making assumptions like you do.” He whirled around and continued storming down the hall.

 _Gladly,_ thought Lily, partly furious, and partly bewildered.

* * *

James only had to knock twice on McGonagall’s office before she opened the door. She raised her eyebrows. “Potter? I would’ve thought you would be celebrating right now, regardless of the loss-”

“I need to go to St. Mungo’s,” James cut her off. “Professor,” he added a bit late.

Her eyebrows jumped higher, but she didn't seem too surprised. “I’m afraid that isn’t possible, Potter,” she said gently.

“Why?” James demanded. “It’s an emergency- I have to see my mum-”

“Your father gave me specific instructions not to let you leave Hogwarts grounds. I think you should honor that.”

“To _hell_ with what my father wants, what about what I want?” James was partially ashamed with how his voice broke on the last few words.

“Your mother wants it as well,” McGonagall told him, a bit firmer this time. “She’ll be there when school ends, and that’s when she wants to see you.”

James was practically vibrating now, although he didn’t know whether it was out of anger or shock or grief. McGonagall rubbed his arm, an uncharacteristically motherly gesture, and offered him a tin. “Biscuit?”

James took one seethingly and bit down so hard he thought his teeth might break.

“I’m sorry, James,” McGonagall said softly.

James only took another biscuit.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know this chapter isn't the most jily-centric (personally I enjoyed writing the two lines of dialogue Lola and Will exchanged during Potions), but no worries, there will be many more moments to come! Every relationship has its bumps along the road, and this is one of them...


	4. Pride and Prejudice

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> recappp: Lily figured out Remus is a werewolf (gasp) and revealed she knew to him with her full support- but she actually has her own doubts about her and other students' safety. After a devastating quidditch loss, James seemed to be in a bad mood, so Lily confronted him leading him to lash out.
> 
> DISCLAIMER: this chapter has little to do with the book Pride and Prejudice (except for one mention)
> 
> Sorry it took so long for me to get this up! I've been pretty busy lately with schoolwork... but enjoy!

_Dear Jamie,_

_How are you? The final match of the season is coming up, isn’t it? We are both cheering you on from afar, although there is no doubt in our minds that Gryffindor will win with you leading them. How you became such a great flyer I’ll never know, seeing as neither of us have ever been particularly good on a broom!_

_I must confess that this letter isn’t entirely a light check-up on you… The truth is, we’ve just found out your mother has Dragon Pox. It’s no reason to worry, there's a cure after all, and the Healers are confident they'll find something to treat the rarer side of the strain. Your mother is in St. Mungo’s and in high spirits, thanks to the Drooble’s Best Blowing Gum you sent home! We haven’t seen those bubbles in ages- they haven’t popped for three days now. We’re thinking of starting a competition to see whose bubbles will last the longest._

_I know you’ll want to rush to St. Mungo’s right away, but please, it is our wish that you remain at Hogwarts and finish your year. Your mother is well and stable, and we don’t want to interrupt your education. We can pick a weekend and arrange for you to Apparate to London if you’d like, but we still have the whole summer! And your mother will certainly get well soon. Please don’t worry, James._

_How are Sirius, Remus, and Peter? Are you four still getting into mischief? From the letters we’ve been receiving back home we’d say you haven’t backed off at all… I was especially impressed with the number you did on Professor Kasnoff’s office. Although I do not condone this behavior at all. It was very wrong and you shouldn’t do it again._

_Lots of love,_

_Dad_

Sirius, Remus, and Peter exchanged looks. Sirius recrumpled the letter and left it where it was on James’s bed.

“No wonder he’s in a terrible mood,” said Remus finally.

Sirius felt his temper tip dangerously. “How are we supposed to help him if he doesn’t tell us _anything_?” Sirius snarled.

“He doesn’t want us to help him,” said Remus mildly.

“That’s just _bullshit_ ,” Sirius spat, and threw a book at James’s bed. Stupid James with his stupidly perfect life, but as soon as a little hardship came along, he shut everyone out. _You don’t have to go through this alone,_ Sirius wanted to tell him. _You taught me that._ That was what James once told him, back when he first learned how tense the relationship between Sirius and his parents was.

“You don’t have to go through this alone,” 12-year-old James had said stubbornly, grabbing Peter’s arm. “We’re here.”

What a bloody hypocrite.

Remus crossed his arms. “You can’t help him if you’re angry. You know you’ll just make it worse.”

“What are we supposed to do? Just _wait_ for him to come to us? You know he’ll never do it.”

“St. Mungo’s,” said Peter quietly. “He’s gone to see someone about going to St. Mungo’s. That, or he’s already snuck out.”

This was reasonable, logical thinking that would get them somewhere. Sirius calmed down a bit. “For once, Wormtail, you have used your brain. C’mon, we’re going out.”

“I use my brain plenty,” Peter protested.

“Sure you do, Wormy,” Sirius assured him. “Grab the Map on your way out.”

Sirius strode purposefully, ready to throw open the dorm door, when it slowly opened on its own accord. James slipped in quietly, his head down, and stopped when he saw the other three Marauders ready to go out. He frowned. “Where are you three off to?”

“To find you, prat,” said Sirius.

“There’s no need for that.”

“I think we can tell, Prongs,” said Sirius, gesturing at James, “seeing as you’re right here.”

“You were awfully short-tempered,” said Remus cautiously. “What’s up?”

“You can tell us anything, James,” Peter added, nudging Sirius with his foot, although Sirius wasn’t sure if it was a warning not to mention the letter or a prompt to say something.

Sirius decided it was most likely the latter rather than the former, and that the former did not apply. “We read your letter, mate,” he said.

Remus and Peter groaned.

“Have you guys ever heard of something called _privacy_?” James demanded.

“It was out in the open,” Sirius pointed out. “Just lying on your bed. For everyone to see.”

“James-” Remus began.

“I don’t want to talk about it,” James interrupted.

“You sure about that?” said Sirius skeptically.

“I said, _I don’t want to talk about it_ , Black,” James growled.

Sirius sat down on James’s bed and patted the spot next to him. “We’ll be here all day, Prongs. And all of tomorrow. Our Potions essays can go to hell.”

James stared at him, his mouth partly open. Then he shook his head and sat next to Sirius, and Sirius felt a wave of relief wash over him. “I don’t know if I want to say it out loud,” said James honestly.

“We can wait,” Remus replied simply, and he and Peter climbed onto the bed as well. “You don’t have to tell us anything you don’t want to.”

* * *

“Why are we brewing the Draught of Living Death again?” Lola grumbled. “We already did that.”

“An experience I’d rather not relive again,” Raffaela agreed. “Especially not after just being discharged from the hospital wing due to a traumatic injury.” Lily patted Raffaela’s hand sympathetically.

“And traumatic Quidditch loss,” Lola added.

“Quiet down before James hears you. He explodes over anything these days.”

“No partners, though,” said Lily optimistically, ignoring the mention of James’s name. “At least there’s no chance you’ll have to work with one William Hawthorne.”

“Ugh, don’t remind me of the prick. He’s the reason-”

“- Slughorn said your potion was barely passable, we know,” Raffaela finished boredly.

“No chance you’ll have to work with Potter, either,” said Lola meaningfully.

Lily didn’t answer, busying herself with readying her cauldron instead.

“What happened between you two anyway?” Raffaela asked, propping her chin up with her hands. “One moment you two were chummy as can be, and then the next you’re ignoring each other and snatching the toast the other already had their eye on.”

“I saw it first,” Lily protested. “Besides, he took the marmalade right as I was going for it.”

“Probably because you took his toast,” said Raffaela reasonably.

“ _It wasn’t his toast_ ,” said Lily, glaring at her friends. “Honestly, whose side are you two on?”

“I haven’t said a thing,” Lola pointed out. “Leave me out of it.”

“How can we choose a side when we don’t even know what Potter did that was so terrible?” said Raffaela simply, ignoring Lola’s words.

Lola snorted. “He’s always doing something wrong. I don’t think we’ve gone a week without Lily ranting about something he did.”

“Why don’t you focus on your potion?” Lily interjected, an edge to her voice. “No wonder Georgie sat with Eva Macmillan.”

Lola made a face and lit the fire under her cauldron. Lily returned to her textbook, letting the familiar wash of peace come over as it always did during Potions. She prodded the standard potioning water around in her cauldron before scanning the list of ingredients. Asphodel, wormwood, sopophorous beans, valerian root. Standard potion-making ingredients that first years learned about, except for sloth brains. Lily wrinkled her nose. She hated working with sloth brains. The stench wasn’t noticeable, but enveloped the room every time they used it.

Lily got up. Lola glanced at her. “Are you getting the sloth brains? Could you get me one?”

“And me,” Raffaela called as a puff of smoke erupted from her cauldron. The blonde ducked under the table before popping back up cautiously when the coast was clear. “That’s not in the book.”

“Oi, Fawley,” Sirius called from two tables over. “You practicing muggle magic now?”

“Better than what you’ve got over there! Even your own potion can’t wait to get away from you.” Sure enough, the contents of Sirius’s mysteriously brown-green draught were slowly seeping out of the cauldron. Remus waved his wand with a resigned look on his face, and the potion returned to its rightful place.

Lily pinned Lola and Raffaela down with a warning look. “Don’t get into any fights while I’m gone. This is a one person job now, without Georgie.”

Raffaela gave her a little salute. “Don’t worry about us, Lils. We’ll just be planning the hypothetical painful deaths of Will Hawthorne and Sirius Black. You can join us when you get back with James Potter.”

“The details matter,” Lola agreed. “Like- would you monologue, or would you just shoot them in the foot?”

“Shoot?” Raffaela repeated, frowning. “With what?”

“It’s a muggle saying, ‘to shoot oneself in the foot,’” Lily explained.

“Honestly, what do they even teach you in your house?” Lola commented. “Do you just hole up and not talk to anyone?”

“I’m leaving,” Lily announced. “Someone has to do the work and get the ingredients before class ends.”

Lola sighed dramatically. “Responsibility sure sounds tiring.”

“D’you still want your slug brains or not?”

Lola quickly changed her expression. “Lily, your reliability and competence really inspires me to be a better person. In fact, I won’t even complain about Isolt anymore. I’m changing, really-” here Raffaela snorted, and Lola glared at her. “- just get the slug brains.”

When Lily finally left to get said brains, Snape’s potion was already progressing onto the sixth step and she could see that it looked exactly as the textbook said it should. A part of her, the petty, bitter part of her, resented him for being so ahead, and herself for being behind. Trust him to be the only one even close to brewing a finished, perfect Draught of Living Death.

Lily reached the cart where large vials full of slug brain mucus lined up. She reached for one, only to find that another hand was reaching toward the same one. She looked up, and scowled. “Potter.”

He glowered. “Evans.”

“That vial’s mine.”

“So it’s going to be the toast all over again, isn’t it?”

“The toast wasn’t yours!”

“If the vial’s yours, take it, then.”

Lily narrowed her eyes at him, suspicious, and reached warily for the vial.

James snatched the vial away in a blink. Lily gasped and leaped up to take it, but he held the vial above her and out of her reach. She had her wand out in a second.

James leaned back. “We’re really going to duel over slug brains?”

Lily walked forward until their feet were only a few inches apart, and she held her wand against his neck. He was a good amount taller than her and she had to bend her neck back just to look him in the eye. His hazel eyes, glinting with fury. Lily could see the tiny shavings of gold and green from this close, and the light scar cutting through his eyebrow, and her heart couldn’t help but stumble a beat.

“You’re despicable,” she said furiously in a low voice, “and childish, petty, and immature.”

“Next time you look in the mirror, maybe notice the hypocrite that you are, Evans.”

Lily didn’t know what came over her then in that moment. She shoved James away and grabbed the vial of slug brain mucus while he was distracted, upending the contents over his head with grim pleasure. She heard students nearby gasp and whisper, but she only shook the vial out so that the last of the droplets ended up on James Potter’s head.

 _Are you out of your bloody mind?_ The sensible, responsible part of her brain screamed. _What are you doing?_

Lily let that petty, bitter part of her take over. Because in that horrible week she was having, the look of shock and rage on James’s face felt pretty damn good.

* * *

To Lily’s surprise, it was actually Sirius Black who came to Lily’s rescue when Slughorn came over, sputtering bewilderedly. He and Raffaela somehow chalked the incident up as an accident and “a slip of hand”, while James wiped slug brain mucus from his eyes. Slughorn readily accepted this excuse (Lily suspected it was too much work to deal with), Remus magicked the mucus away, and class resumed as usual.

Lola was laughing so hard back at their table that she had tears in her eyes. “Merlin, that was hilarious. You should’ve heard what the other students were saying. The girls were watching like it was some romantic drama, and then you just poured slug brain mucus all over him. I almost died laughing.”

Lily spared her a glowering look. “Looks like you still are.”

Raffaela whacked Lola on the back repeatedly. “All right, Haywood. Time’s up.”

“James Potter covered in slug brain mucus. Remind me to mention this every time he yells at me during Quidditch practice next year.”

Lily shook her vial furiously and poured the contents into her cauldron, still fuming from her encounter with James and her new realization: that, like many girls before her, she had noticed that James Potter had a really nice face.

Still, it was safe to say that they didn’t speak for weeks.

* * *

Gryffindor sulked for a good week after the Quidditch loss, but there wasn’t much time to complain with exams coming up. Lily could see fifth years and seventh years spending all their time in the library getting ready for their O.W.L.s and N.E.W.T.s. First years bemoaned their spellwork and Kasnoff’s workload. Sixth years were the only students seen around the castle who looked perfectly calm, aside from the mountain of homework they were given each day, even with the end of the year coming up. Marlene had laughed about this at first.

“You have to deal with all of this next year,” Dorcas pointed out. “I’m just getting it over with now.”

“Why think about the future when you can live in the present?” Marlene said in response.

“I don’t know, because your entire _life_ depends on it?”

It was a nice day- warm, but not too hot, breezy, but not too windy. The sun wove in out behind the white clouds, and the lake rippled peacefully with every disturbance by the Giant Squid. Lily, after the third time she caught herself staring out the window while doing homework, decided to take her work outside. She could see a few students there- mostly sixth years doing work as well. She gathered her things and looked around the common room. None of her friends were to be found.

 _They must be in the library,_ Lily thought, and shrugged. She would go out alone, then.

She was strolling past one of the girls’ bathrooms on the first floor when she heard her name, and she stopped.

“- don’t understand why Slughorn loves Lily Evans so much,” a girl was saying. “She’s a mediocre witch at best.”

Lily pushed the bathroom door open a little more and peered in cautiously. There were three sixth years there, two Ravenclaws and one Hufflepuff- Carina Tugwood, Jacqueline Merton, and Anais Tattersall. Lily quickly let the door close a little ways when one of them turned their heads, her heart thumping. What were they talking about?

“I don’t know,” said Anais skeptically. “Her potions are pretty good.”

Carina scoffed. “That’s because Snape’s been letting her copy. Sometimes I wonder why we let those muggle-borns in at all.”

“Stephanie Norton is pretty hopeless with everything,” Anais agreed.

Lily flushed, her fingers gripping her wand so tight they were turning white.

“The Ministry is just full of muggle-lovers now,” said Carina with disgust. “Otherwise we’d close Hogwarts off from the muggle world. And Dumbledore. Completely incompetent, my mum always says. My parents will be pulling me out soon.”

“You can’t leave Hogwarts!” said Anais.

“Why not?” Jacqueline chimed in. “ _My_ mum and dad can teach me far better than these teachers. Dumbledore’s so focused on protecting his precious muggles that he isn’t focusing on _us._ ”

“My dad says we ought to be listening to-” here Carina lowered her voice. “- You-Know-Who sometimes. I mean, he’s right, isn’t he? All these muggle-borns that we let infiltrate our world are a danger to us. Who knows how they take the news, or their parents?”

Lily was practically vibrating with anger now. How could people be so _selfish_ , so _ignorant_? Just parroting their parents views, acting like they were somehow better than her. Lily, a muggle-born. This was her world, too, wasn’t it?

Or would she just never fit in?

“Evans?”

Lily yelped and jumped, letting the bathroom door fall back to its small crack. She turned around and stifled a sigh. Of course. James Potter. Just who she needed right now.

“Sorry,” said James starkly, and he actually looked it. Lily looked at James a little closer. Whatever had been bothering him during the after-match party seemed to be eating him alive. It didn’t seem to be the Quidditch results, considering his reaction when Lily suggested that. There were dark circles under his eyes, and he looked pale and exhausted and almost as sickly as Remus. It did nothing to make him less attractive, though.

Lily shut that voice down immediately. Why was she thinking about how attractive James Potter might be?

She realized the girls had stopped talking and turned back around with dread. Carina, Jacqueline, and Anais stood at the bathroom entrance, looking at James and Lily with mild shock. They regarded her with unmasked suspicion.

Lily backed away. “I- I have to go,” she said in a hopefully unconcerned voice, mostly toward James, and quickly walked away.

* * *

A week after the Gryffindor-Ravenclaw match, James was in another argument with Sirius. They always seemed to be arguing now.

“You haven’t slept a wink,” said Sirius furiously, “and yet you still won’t tell us what’s bothering you.”

“I don’t have to tell you anything,” James shot back. “You agreed.”

“Yeah, and we sat there for five hours saying _nothing._ A week has gone by and you disappear randomly throughout the day- which, I might add is a _Marauders_ specialty, not a James Potter specialty- and you still won’t say anything!”

“James-” Remus tried.

“What do you want me to say?” James shouted. “That I’m fine? That this will just pass in time?”

“I want you to say the _truth_!”

“Padfoot, lay off,” said Peter quietly.

“And what use would that be?” James demanded, ignoring Peter. He knew he was being unreasonable. He just didn’t fucking _care_.

“We can help you, James! We can-”

“You can’t!” James exploded. “You can’t help me, you’ll just screw everything up like you always do-”

James knew right then that he had gone too far. Sirius’s face went blank, his black eyes darkened by cold fury. If there was one thing Sirius shared with the rest of the Black family that he tried so hard to isolate himself from, it was his volatile temper.

Remus and Peter barely caught Sirius in time when he launched himself at James. “Sirius!” Remus shouted. “Sirius, stop-”

Sirius wrenched his arms out of the other Marauders’ grips. “Fuck you, James,” he spat. “Fuck you and your stupid need to go through this all alone. You have everything in the world and you won’t appreciate it.”

James left the dormitory wordlessly, slamming the door as he left.

He could barely see where he was going. He supposed that was why they called it “blind rage”. The halls were fairly empty, most students secluding themselves in the dorms, common rooms, and the library to study, but the students that were there gave him odd looks as they passed.

He shouldn’t have pushed Sirius. He knew that. He knew Sirius had made mistakes. He knew how much Sirius regretted them. He knew his friends were only trying to help him. And yet the more they tried to help, the more James pushed them away.

He wasn’t sure why. For years he had been preaching going through everything together to the other Marauders. But his life had never been hard. And for the first time, he understood why Sirius tried so hard to push him away in their early Hogwarts years. Because he didn’t know how to put it into words. Because he didn’t want to seem petty. Entitled. Because he didn’t want his friends to look at him any differently.

Because they were his problems, and he should deal with them alone.

James looked up to see a flash of red hair and stopped. Lily Evans was in front of the girls bathroom, peeking through the crack in the door and listening in to a conversation that was not spoken too softly.

“-dore’s so focused on protecting his precious muggles that he isn’t focusing on _us._ ”

“My dad says we ought to be listening to You-Know-Who sometimes. I mean, he’s right, isn’t he? All these muggle-borns that we let infiltrate our world are a danger to us. Who knows how they take the news, or their parents?”

James stood there in shock. Why was Lily listening to this? “Evans?”

Lily’s whole body jumped as she turned around, and James winced. She looked like she’d seen a ghost. _Scaring everyone away, aren’t you, Prongs?_ “Sorry,” he apologized.

She didn’t say anything, and he didn’t expect her to. The last time they had stood face to face, she poured slug brains all over his head. And the time before that, he had snapped. Yelled at her. It seemed that he had quite the talent in pushing people away in times of crisis.

The bathroom door opened. James looked past Lily to see three girls step out and almost snorted. Of course Carina Tugwood was here. Lily looked as well and straightened her back, lifting her chin. “I have to go,” she said to no one in particular, and practically ran away.

The three girls exchanged looks of contempt. James glared at them until they dropped their gazes and left. He must look quite frightening, with the shadows under his eyes and the pale face. He turned around and walked back in the direction of the Gryffindor Tower musingly.

When he opened the door to their dorm, the two Marauders there shot up from where they were sitting. They looked at him apprehensively as if he might spontaneously blow up. Sirius wouldn’t meet his eyes.

Still, he grinned. “Who’s up for revenge?” He looked around. “Merlin, where’s Moony?”

* * *

Lily had her Charms book propped open on her legs, the words on the pages flowing right out of her brain when she read them. She had been reading the same line over and over for the past five minutes. Everytime she tried to focus, her mind inevitably wandered back to the conversation she overheard in the girls bathroom.

Lily generally didn’t hear a lot of outright discrimination against muggle-borns (except for a few Slytherins, for obvious reasons). She ought not to feel so shocked; she knew that integrating into a world most people had known all their life wouldn’t be easy. At first it had been hard, listening to her friends talk about flying and the Pixie Fighters, a favorite band of teenage witches and wizards. It was why she bonded so easily with Mary during first year, being the two muggle-born Gryffindors in their year, until she drifted toward Mila and Marlene pronounced Lily, Lola, and Raffaela to be her best friends.

She shouldn’t have walked away. It made her look cowardly, and Lily Evans wasn’t cowardly. She didn’t need to give another degrading adjective to Carina Tugwood to describe muggle-borns. She should’ve stood her ground and spouted something equally insulting back to them.

“I have so many regrets,” said Lily out loud, sighing.

“Lily?”

Lily turned. Remus towered above her (he was notably the tallest Marauder), his face uncertain, the sun glinting off of his faint, closed scars. “Oh, hullo, Remus. Don’t mind me.”

Remus sat down next to her. “Feeling particularly regretful right now?”

“It’s stupid.”

“I’m sure I’ve heard far more stupid things,” said Remus mildly. “You’d be surprised what Pad- what Sirius and James come up with.”

“I probably would,” Lily agreed, smiling a little. “There were just these girls- and they were saying some things, and I just walked away. I guess I regret not, you know…” she gestured with her hands. “Coming up with a witty comeback, and all that.”

“Verbally setting them on fire?” Remus suggested.

“I wish,” said Lily ruefully. “I could never be _that_ witty. Maybe I should ask Potter. He seems good with that kind of thing.”

“You’re definitely witty enough.”

“Well, thank you, Remus,” said Lily. “That’s kind of you.”

“What were the girls saying?”

“Oh,” said Lily, the word _muggle-born_ echoing in her head, “nothing important. Really.”

Remus hesitated. “I suppose… we haven’t really spoken about- you know- after you figured it out…”

Lily felt goosebumps creep over her skin despite the warm weather, her heart rate picking up as a sense of nervousness overcame her. _Stop this,_ she scolded herself. “There’s not much else to talk about,” said Lily nonchalantly. “It’s really not that big of a deal, Remus.”

“It is to me,” said Remus seriously. “I just want you to know that I’m- I’m grateful you’re keeping this secret. And I want you to know that it’s all very safe. Dumbledore has taken all sorts of precautions so that no one will be harmed.”

Lily smiled brightly at him. “Remus, I’m really not worried.”

He smiled tentatively back.

Both their hearts sunk with the weight of their lies.

* * *

“Why are we doing this again?” Sirius asked.

“Revenge,” Peter reminded him. He frowned. “Although I’m not sure for what.”

The Marauders were holed up in their room, James standing in front of the others, who were sitting on the floor. “Not exactly revenge, per se,” said James. “More like… avenging.”

“Avenging _who_ , Prongs?” Remus demanded.

James summoned a large roll of parchment from his bed and unrolled it with a flourish. “Voila.”

Sirius leaned forward to read it. “A _list_? That many? Are we avenging them or laying vengeance on them?”

“Laying vengeance on them, what else? How would a list of people we’re avenging help?”

“I dunno, so we can make sure to get their thanks after?”

James wasn’t sure if he and Sirius had resolved their fight. They hadn’t exactly apologized to each other, but they weren’t ignoring each other either, and Sirius had agreed to help him with his “revenge”. James didn’t even know if Sirius was supposed to be the one apologizing or if he was.

Regardless, James’s plan screamed Marauders. And although he’d never tell his friends, he admitted to himself he was itching for a fight. Or at least to hex someone. Four someones seemed to be more than enough.

“This is a horrible idea,” Remus proclaimed after reading James’s plan.

“Help out an old friend, will you, Moony?”

“This is the _opposite_ of helping you, Prongs,” Remus disagreed. “In fact, if I were to help you, I would lock you up until you forget about this terrible plan.”

“You wouldn’t do that,” James dismissed. “You’d miss me too much.”

“Who’d miss a prat like you?” said Sirius, and James rolled up the parchment and bonked him on the head.

“What about pimple-spelling?” Peter proposed thoughtfully. “A bit unorthodox, but Padfoot learned the spell for a reason…”

James snapped his fingers. “Genius, Wormy,” he said, and Remus buried his face into his hands.

“Not something you hear often,” Sirius remarked.

“For the _last time,_ Padfoot, I have a brain!”

James summoned his bag and pulled out a quill and some ink. “All right. Any suggestions for words?”

“Twat.”

“Prig.”

“Spattergroit.”

“Flobberworm.”

“Grindylow.”

“Snail.”

“Slug.”

James scratched all the words down, even Sirius’s suggestion of, “Even the Sorting Hat doesn’t know what to do with you.”

Sirius sighed. “Why must our young, brilliant minds be confined by the walls of Hogwarts?”

Remus read the plan once more. “Really, Prongs, a pig?”

James grinned. “Really.”

* * *

“Are you four out of your minds?”

James had seen McGonagall angrier, which wasn’t saying much considering the angriest she had been was after Sirius told Snape how to get past the Whomping Willow to where Moony was. She pinned them all down with a stern glare that could rival Acid Pops.

“I don’t know what you were thinking. How will I explain this to their parents?”

James, having thought that pimples were too lenient for someone like Carina Tugwood, had transformed (rather dangerously) the Ravenclaw into some odd creature of the snail-like variety, complete with multiple tentacles. She would be in the hospital wing for a good few days if she didn’t want anyone to see her, and she definitely did not want anyone to see her. And she would be trailing slime wherever she went for a good week after.

As for Merton and Tattersall, they would need heavy layers of makeup to cover up the words spelled out by pimples on their faces.

And then there was Bertram Aubrey. He was not quite as proud of that work as he was with Tugwood’s, but it was a rather clever piece of Transfiguration, in his opinion. He had taken inspiration from Eva Macmillan’s description of him as a “sexist pig”, and transfigured his nose into a pig’s nose and gave him pig ears and a curly pig’s tail. And Remus, surprisingly, charmed Aubrey so that every time he tried to speak, an oink came out instead.

“He shouldn’t have treated Macmillan that way,” Remus had said grimly as the other Marauders looked on, shocked. “You should’ve seen her at the prefect meetings before their break-up.”

“Merlin’s beard, Moony,” said Sirius, in awe. “And I didn’t think you had it in you.”

Remus had grinned. “How could I not, after hanging out with you three for so long?”

“That was some dangerous Transfiguration you did, Potter,” said McGonagall stormily in the present. “Aubrey and Tugwood could’ve been hurt very badly.”

“I do my homework, Professor,” James objected. “They would’ve never gotten hurt.”

“Magic can be unpredictable, Potter,” McGonagall shot back. She whirled on Remus. “And you. I expected more sense from you, Lupin. Charming Aubrey’s voice into a pig’s? His voice could be lost forever. As a prefect you should be leading by example.”

“I made sure not to ruin his voice, Professor,” said Remus evenly, not the least bit concerned that he was in trouble. James was honestly impressed. “The effects are temporary.”

McGonagall pinched the bridge of her nose above her spectacles. “How arrogant you four have become, so sure in your magical abilities.”

There was reason for that, James thought. They didn’t earn the name of the Marauders from nothing.

McGonagall narrowed her eyes at Sirius. “As for you, Black… I suppose pimple-spelling is quite a bit mundane for you. I’m surprised you didn’t join in more of the fun.”

Sirius grinned. “Aw, Professor-”

“That does not mean,” Professor McGonagall interrupted, her eyes steely, “that I accept or excuse this behavior. A week of detentions for all of you- even you, Pettigrew,” she added to Peter, who hadn’t spoken a word since McGonagall dragged them all to her office. “And eighty points off of Gryffindor. Honestly, with you four here I doubt we’ll ever win the House Cup.”

“We won the year before last,” Sirius pointed out. “And our first year.”

“Quiet, Black.” McGonagall sighed. “All right, off you go. And please don’t let me catch you breaking school rules again. I’d like a few weeks of peace.”

“Does that mean we can break school rules if you don’t catch us?”

McGonagall closed a book on her desk. “You can go now, Black.”

The Marauders shuffled out of the door, James the last of them, when McGonagall called, “Not you, Potter. I’d like to speak with you for a bit.”

James stopped. The other Marauders shot him worried looks as they left the office. He turned around. “Yes, Professor?” he said, adopting a polite tone.

Her gaze was piercing. “Potter, I know you’re having trouble coming to terms with… with your mother’s condition.”

James trained his eyes stonily on the corner of the professor’s organized desk.

“You don’t want pity or sympathy, and I understand that. I understand wanting to _do_ something. But the fact remains that your mother reserves the right to see you or not, and she doesn’t want to see you until a designated weekend. I understand you feel helpless, but that doesn’t mean you can go around transfiguring students into… tentacly eels.”

“I didn’t do it because I feel _helpless_ ,” James muttered, but even he knew that it was partly a lie. Professor McGonagall knew him- knew students surprising well.

James glanced at her to see her arch an eyebrow. “Yes, Black said it was part of your ‘avenging’ campaign. I think everyone involved knows that’s only part of it, isn’t it?”

James didn’t answer.

McGonagall sat in her seat and shuffled a pile of already straightened papers. “You may go, Potter.”

James turned and reached for the door handle when McGonagall stopped him again. “Oh, and-” to his surprise, the Transfiguration professor smiled. “Nice Transfiguration work, Potter.”

James felt his lips turn up. “Thanks, Professor.”

Sirius, Remus, and Peter were waiting right outside McGonagall’s office and pounced as soon as he got out. “Will you ever tell us what Tugwood and Tattersall and that lot did?” Peter pressed.

“I mean, Aubrey’s offense was obvious,” Sirius said. “The pig, and all that. Oh, y’know Eva Macmillan walked up to us just then and thanked me?”

James snorted. “You? You didn’t even do anything, prick.”

“I did _so_. The tail you gave him wasn't near curly enough. Of course, I fixed the mistake before anyone noticed. You’re welcome, by the way.”

James hit the back of Sirius’s head.

“Well?” Peter prompted. “What did they do?”

Lily’s shocked expression floated in front of his vision. “Nothing much,” he said. “They just… weren’t being very nice.”

“We got detention for hexing people who just weren’t being nice?” Sirius demanded.

James nudged him. “It was fun. Admit it. Even Moony joined in.”

“It wasn’t fun,” Remus insisted. “It was… business.”

“Business?”

Remus shoved Sirius’s shoulder. “Sod off, Black. There’s no need to mock everything I say.”

“Oh, but there is.”

“He can’t help it,” Peter agreed.

And arm in arm, the four friends stumbled down the hall, laughing as if they didn’t just get another week’s worth of detention and lose eighty points. _I think everyone knows that’s only part of it, isn’t it?_

But for now, the other part was forgotten.

* * *

Lily decided the best thing to do was put the words of Carina, Jacqueline, and Anais out of her head.

Really. It wasn’t like she could tell her friends, or anything. As much as she loved them, they would never understand, not pure-blood Raffaela, whose family was part of the Sacred Twenty-Eight (however reluctantly they associated with it), or half-bloods Marlene and Lola who had been surrounded by magic their entire lives. The only person who would understand would be Mary, and Lily didn’t want to burden the witch with it. 

And it wasn’t like she was angry, or anything. Some people in the world were just too stupid to deal with. And she didn’t have the time. She had her hands full with wailing first years who were fainting from fear of their first exams. Since the fifth year and seventh year prefects were busy studying for the most important exams of their lives, it was up to only Lily and Remus.

“Honey, it’s highly unlikely that breathing the fumes of the Forgetfulness Potion will make you forget all the steps,” said Lily soothingly to a dark-haired girl named Gillian.

“What if Professor Kasnoff decides to put the Imperius on us?” Gillian cried hysterically. “My brother said he had to fight it off for his third year exam but Kasnoff decided to move the curriculum ahead!”

“Your brother doesn’t know shit,” said Sirius from where he was against the wall, shuffling Exploding Snap cards effortlessly with one hand while doing homework with the other.

Lily glared at him. “Black. Stop terrorizing innocent first years and mind your own business.”

“Padfoot,” said Remus exasperatedly. “Please don’t swear in front of first years.”

“She’s eleven, not six. ‘Shit’ is hardly the worst thing she’s heard. I could’ve said-”

“Gillian,” Lily intervened hastily. “Why don’t we move on to Herbology?”

Another Gryffindor skidded to a hasty stop in front of Lily, and Lily looked up to see Marlene gasping for breath above her. “Mar?”

Marlene collapsed into the chair next to her. Gillian edged back, alarmed. “Did you hear? Carina Tugwood’s in the hospital wing and Madam Pomfrey won’t let anyone near her, but Hestia Jones _swore_ she saw a tentacle from behind the curtain. And Bertram Aubrey’s got literal pig ears and a pig nose and even a curly tail! And one of the Ravenclaw girls spotted Jacqueline Merton without make-up on… she’s got pimples spelling out-”

“Marlene,” Lily interrupted, as Gillian was looking on far too curiously.

“Right, sorry,” said Marlene hastily. “Anyway, we also lost eighty points-”

“ _What_?”

“- yeah, and the Marauders got another week of detentions, didn’t you?” Marlene turned to Remus, who shrugged.

“Damn right we did,” Sirius called from the corner, and Remus put his head in his hands.

“Black,” said Lily reproachfully. “You lost eighty points?”

Sirius put his hands up. “Don’t look at me. For once, it was mostly James and _Remus._ I know,” he added, although Lily hadn’t said anything. “I was shocked too. McGonagall’s off cooking up some horrible detention for them. Peter and I only got lines.”

“Because you didn’t have the brain cells to join in,” Remus retorted.

“I have plenty of brain cells, thank you very much. And spare us the lecture, Evans,” Sirius continued. “We already got it from Pretty Prefect Coombs.”

Marlene leaned forward and rested her elbows on her knees and her chin on her hands. “So. What’d they do that was so terrible? Minus Aubrey, of course. By now the whole school knows how he treated Macmillan. Georgie’s horrifyingly good at marketing.”

Lily snorted. “Gossip.”

“Goody two-shoes,” Marlene shot back.

“I am _not_ a goody-”

“We don’t even know,” said Sirius musingly. “Our boy Jimbo hasn’t said a word.”

“Who?” said Marlene.

Remus rolled his eyes. “He means James.”

“Yes, James, he was being quite mysterious, all he said was, ‘Oh, nothing. They just weren’t being nice.’ Well, what could that mean? Did they bump into someone and not say sorry? Did they steal someone’s chocolate? Did they decide to join You-Know-Who’s band of merrymakers?”

“ _Sirius,_ ” Remus chided.

“Maybe they didn’t do anything,” Sirius ranted on, clearly getting more and more annoyed. “Maybe James was just looking for a fight and decided to drag us into it, and he still won’t talk to us or tell us what he’s been doing. Of course he chose now to be an independent man. Good for him.”

Marlene looked between Remus and Sirius, clearly as bewildered as Lily. “O-kay… well, I’ll see you later, Lily. Have fun with the first years.”

Lily waved goodbye absently as Marlene left the common room. She had a pretty good idea of what the three girls had done. And she wasn’t sure whether to be honored, or furious.

* * *

Lily crouched down and peered under her bed, lighting her wand and prodding the air. “Has anyone seen Isolt?”

“You're worried about your bloody cat?” said Lola. “I wouldn’t. She always turns up eventually.”

Lily stood up, upset. “But she always comes back at eight for her tuna. She never misses her tuna.”

“I haven’t seen her since yesterday night,” said Mary apologetically.

“Serves her right,” Lola muttered. “Who asked her to meow all night? The fourth years probably took her and skinned her.”

“Lola!”

“Did you check the grounds?” Raffaela suggested. “She likes to go on walks near the pitch.”

Lily sighed. “I’ll go now. Merlin, I still have that Transfiguration reading to do. We only have a few weeks left of school, I’ll never know why the teachers assign so much when we don’t even have exams this year.”

“There’s probably a quota on how much homework they need to assign,” said Lola boredly. She had already finished the reading during lunch.

“Evil,” Marlene remarked.

“Right,” said Lily. “I’m going. Lola, don’t steal my pillow while I’m gone.”

Lola looked at her innocently. “I have no idea what you mean.”

The sun had set half an hour ago, and a layer of quietness settled around the school as students retired to their common rooms. Lily met few people on her way out to the grounds. The sky was a dark, dusky color, fading into a beautiful orange, the moon high in the sky.

Lily took out her wand. “ _Lumos_ ,” she whispered, lifting her wand. “Isolt!”

She walked along the trail toward the Quidditch pitch. She would check for Isolt and then return back to her dorm. It wasn’t completely out of the norm for Isolt not to be back. As Lola pointed out, the cat always came back, sometimes after disappearing for a few days.

The leaves of a tree rustled suddenly, somewhere on her left. She turned quickly and lifted her wand higher, her heart thumping wildly as she scanned the branches.

“ _Potter_?” Lily squinted at the familiar lump beside him. “Isolt?”

“Extinguish your wand, will you? I think I’m going blinder than I already am.”

Lily hastily muttered a quick “ _Nox_ ”, feeling suddenly awkward. Most of their interactions in the past two weeks since the slug brain incident were stilted and brusque, if they interacted at all. Lily looked up at the outline of James’s figure, Isolt’s eyes glowing beside him.

“What are you doing out here?” Lily asked suspiciously.

“Thinking,” said James, although Lily couldn’t see his expression all too well in the dim light. “I saw a cat wailing in this tree, so I thought I would save it.”

“So why aren’t you down here?”

“Turns out your cat’s a pretty good listener.”

Lily cracked a smile, and to his and her own surprise, began to climb the tree. She crawled over James so that she sat further out on the branch, Isolt between them.

“Was it worth it?”

James turned toward her. “What?”

“Hexing all those people. Was it worth it?”

“I’d say so. McGonagall only gave us a week of detentions, which we’ve finished, and eighty points off. She’s going soft.”

“I think she feels responsible for you four,” said Lily thoughtfully. “Like if you’re hurt, she feels like part of it is her fault.”

“That’s a hell of a guilt trip, Evans.”

“It’s one of my many talents. Along with making people confess all their sins, apparently.”

James looked up at the sky. “Feel flattered. Sirius hasn’t said that about anyone, even Moony.”

“Moony,” Lily repeated, and the pieces clicked. “Remus, right? Because of the werewolf-moon thing?”

“Of course, the werewolf-moon thing. One of the most sophisticated ideas ever to be introduced into society.”

Lily jabbed her wand into his side, to which he responded with a small “ow”. “Don’t make fun.”

“Wouldn’t dream of it.”

They fell silent, listening to the light snores of Isolt between them.

Lily hesitated. She was curious as to what had put James in such a bad mood for the past two weeks, but she didn’t want to destroy this strange, peaceful camaraderie between them. They seemed to be doing a whole lot of tiptoeing around each other since they decided to be respectful acquaintances. _But then again,_ she reminded herself, _we weren’t supposed to get into each other’s business anyway._

“What’s been happening to you?” Lily blurted out, and immediately beat herself in her head. So much for not destroying the peace.

But maybe she’d never be able to entirely butt her head out of James Potter’s business.

“What d’you mean?” said James carefully, and Lily could already hear how closed-off it was.

She hesitated again, but she had already gone in this far. She might as well go the rest of the length. “You’ve been in a horrible state all week. You look like you haven’t eaten or slept in weeks. I can see it. Your mates can see it. Theodosia Rosier can see it. The owls in the Owlery can see it.”

“It’s nothing,” James muttered.

Lily smiled mirthlessly, although it was getting so dark he couldn’t see it anyway. “Nothing. Let me guess, you don’t want to talk about it, right? You can deal with it, it’s none of my business, I can’t force you to talk?”

“Shockingly accurate, yes.”

“I felt the same,” said Lily dryly, “back when I was thirteen, before our second year ended.”

James shifted. “Your dad died, didn’t he? That was why you left Hogwarts early and never took your exams.”

“Yeah,” Lily reminisced sadly. “Heart disease. It runs in his side of the family, apparently.”

“I just want to see her,” said James stormily. “That’s all I want, to visit her, but she insists she doesn’t want me to see her in her state-” He stopped just suddenly as he started, clearly realizing he had spoken too much.

“Is… is someone you know sick?”

James looked down at his hands. “My mum. Dragon Pox.”

“Oh,” said Lily, realizing then the terrible irony of her telling Snape she would rather Remus be werewolf than have chronic Dragon Pox. “I’m sorry.”

“Everyone seems to be, aren’t they? I just want to know what they’re sorry for.”

“I’m sorry you have to go through the pain,” said Lily softly.

“Yeah, well,” said James, scratching Isolt’s ears and still not looking at Lily. “Life has been treating me pretty good so far, hasn’t it? I should suffer a little.”

“No one deserves to suffer,” Lily mused contemplatively. “At least, no one deserves to suffer just because they haven’t yet. That’s not how life works.”

Lily saw the outline of James move as he leaned back against the trunk of the tree and finally looked toward her. “And how would you know, O Wise One?”

“I don’t,” said Lily honestly. “But I like to believe that we don’t have a limit of goodness in our lives.”

“Ever the optimist, are you?”

“A specialty of mine,” Lily admitted. “My third, actually. Along with-”

“- guilt tripping and making people confess all of their sins,” James finished.

Try as she might, Lily couldn’t stop her smile. She was glad it was getting dark out, or she’d never hear the end of it. “Why can’t you visit your mum?”

“She doesn’t want to interrupt my education, and they’ve started her treatment, and she doesn’t want me to see her in her state. The usual bullshit.”

“Have you told the other Marauders?” Lily asked curiously.

James didn’t answer. It sounded oddly like he was trying not to laugh.

“What?”

“Nothing,” said James, the laugh more clear in his voice. “Just… it sounds different when you say it. Marauders, I mean. Almost weird. I’d never expect it to come out of your mouth. I like it.”

Lily didn’t know how to respond to that.

“No, I didn’t tell them. They read the letter my dad sent, the little sneaks.”

“What do they say?”

James paused. “I haven’t exactly talked about it with them.”

Lily started. “Why not?”

“I don’t know,” said James, a little helplessly. “Sometimes I do, I really do, but then this feeling overwhelms me and I get all choked out, and I can’t form the words. And sometimes I just feel so angry with them- or maybe at the world- I just lash out, and I think I can’t accept their help, and I’d rather be alone.”

“We always think that,” Lily informed him wisely. “That we’d rather be alone, I mean. We rarely mean it.”

James snorted, and then sighed. “What do you think I should do?”

Lily never thought she’d find herself in a place where she would be giving James Potter advice. Well, she never thought she’d find herself in a tree alone with James Potter (except for her cat) in the first place, talking in civil tones without getting into a single argument thus far.

“Try,” she said. “Try to get the words out. Sit them down and tell them what you told me. Just give them bits and pieces of what you’re feeling, until you’re ready to tell them everything. They’re your mates, James. The three people you trust most in the world.”

“You give solid advice, Evans."

Lily hesitated. "I'm sorry, by the way. For pouring slug brain mucus on you. It was unwarranted."

"Yeah," said James mildly, "well, I was being a git, wasn't I?"

"A toerag," Lily amended.

"Shortcake."

Lily made a face. "You had good reason to be upset, anyway. I was just being petty."

"It's good to be petty, once in awhile. Good for your skin."

Lily smiled again. Why did she keep smiling?

"Anything you want to talk about, while we’re pouring our hearts out? Maybe a little something about what Tugwood, Merton, and Tattersall were saying?”

Lily shrugged. “What can I say? If you’ve always been suffering from pride, I’ve always been suffering from prejudice.” She smiled. “Pride and Prejudice.”

“Oi, that muggle book?”

“You’ve heard of it?” Lily asked, surprised.

James scoffed. “I’m not _that_ clueless.”

Lily nodded solemnly. “Remus told you about it, didn’t he.”

“Maybe.”

“I don’t think I’ll ever belong in this world,” Lily confessed before she thought better of it. “But when I get home, I don’t belong there, either.”

“You’ll always belong in our world. You always have belonged. Some people are just too blind to see it.”

Maybe James Potter wasn’t always so horrible.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Another chapter done! I really enjoyed writing that last scene in the tree. Just wanted to let people know that I'm totally open to any constructive criticism, especially about plot and character/relationship development, so please, feel free to comment any reviews/advice!


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